The Infant Aspiration
by HudsonBerryFabray
Summary: "Maybe...maybe we're ready after all." / Howard and Bernadette realize starting a family isn't as easy as they thought it was, while Leonard and Penny and Sheldon and Amy make some changes in their relationships and Raj tries to find love. They handle things as only the gang can. H/B, L/P, S/A, R/OC.
1. Prologue

_This is my first time writing The Big Bang Theory, so tell me if you like it and think I should continue. I didn't know if it was the best idea to write a Howard/Bernadette story as my first one, since they have a grand total of four fanfictions, one of which is in Spanish and two of which are by the same person, but I got a plot bunny, and plot bunnies do not just hop away! So now I present: The Infant Aspiration. I hope you like it. _

_So…disclaimer time, yay. I don't own The Big Bang Theory, just so you know. Is that disclaimer satisfactory? _

* * *

**Prologue: The Public Displays of Affection Theorem **

"Where is he?" Bernadette asked, pacing back and forth. Her, Raj, Leonard, Penny, Sheldon and Amy were currently sitting in the baggage claim of LAX while they waited for Howard to finish up with customs. They were all anxious to see him after his return from space (even Sheldon, who had not liked their social group being one person short) and Bernadette frequently cast a glance at the escalator where Howard would be coming down.

"He'll be here soon, sweetie," Penny said comfortingly, patting the seat next to her. Bernadette sighed and sat down, twisting the rings around on her finger. Penny gave Bernadette an awkward pat on the back, her eyes meeting with Leonard's. Both of them quickly looked away. Things had been weird between them, since they were both at such different places in their relationship, but they had not broken up, they were trying to be more mature than that.

"I still do not comprehend your need for Howard's constant companionship," Sheldon said to Bernadette. "I understand you have sexual needs, but Amy has explained to me that there is a simple way one can fill their carnal desires with the use of an electric toothbrush - owww!" Amy smacked him lightly on the arm, her face turning red. "What? Is that not what you said?"

"Yes, it's what I said," Amy replied, embarrassed. "But there's no need to go around telling everyone."

"Why? I do not see…" Sheldon trailed off. "Oh, do you not wish for our peers to know that you have resorted to using common household objects as sex toys?" Amy nodded. "Oh, okay." He turned to the group. "Never mind," Sheldon said quickly. Then he turned to Amy and winked, as if this would suddenly make their friends forget his earlier comment. Needless to say, they did not.

"I think I'm kind of scarred," Raj mumbled. "Now all I can picture is Amy, holding a toothbrush to her…" He stopped as everyone's stares became trained on him.

"Drunk already, Raj?" Penny asked, referring to the fact that he was now talking in front of three women.

"No, of course not, I'm simply excited to see my best friend again," Raj retorted. Then he paused. "…But I may have taken a swig of liquor before I left this morning, just to be safe." Penny snorted, while Leonard held back a laugh.

"Come on guys," The latter said, trying to bring everyone's attention back to the reason they were at the LAX. "We're here for Howard,"

There was a long silence before Raj said, disturbed: "I can't believe Amy provides her own orgasm with a toothbrush."

"Never speak of it!" The neurobiologist spat, sliding back in her chair and dropping her head onto Sheldon's shoulder, making him squirm a little before attempting to stroke her hair in a somewhat soothing manner. "Awww, who's a good Amy," He said as he performed the action.

Bernadette sighed and scanned the airport. When would Howard be there? She'd been without him for so long, she needed to see him, to touch him, to feel him, to kiss him, to be reassured her husband – yes, she could officially call him her husband now, and it felt so good – was alright. She hadn't been able to stop thinking about him. Bernadette looked around, her eyes drifting from the pale green walls by the bathrooms to the family reuniting across the way to Howard coming down the escalator, to the people waiting for their flight…_wait_. The microbiologist backtracked, turning back to the escalator, a bright smile dawning on her face. She jumped over and ran over, meeting her husband halfway and throwing her arms around his neck.

Howard laughed, reaching forward to wrap his arms around her waist. "Hey, you,"

"I missed you," Bernadette said, her face smashed against his chest. "So, so much,"

"I missed you, too," He tilted her chin up and their lips met. They kissed for a long time before finally coming up for air, only to start kissing _again_, while their friends looked on.

"Awww, that's so sweet," Penny said, grabbing onto Leonard's hand. She had tears forming in her eyes, and reached up to wipe them discreetly.

"That is a lot of kissing," Sheldon remarked, unamused by the events unfolding before him.

"They have been separated for a long time," Amy explained, smiling at Howard and Bernadette, who were now looking at each other intently as they made their way over. "I bet they've missed being able to do that…" _I miss being able to do that, _She thought to herself.

"So, are you saying that their public displays of affection were prompted by separation? They do say absence makes the heart grow fonder," Sheldon asked, cocking his head as if examining some kind of specimen. "Is that your theory?"

"Yes,"

Sheldon nodded slightly. "Fascinating,"

Amy looked up at her boyfriend, while next to them, Leonard and Penny were pressing chaste kisses to each others' noses and Raj dried the tears from his eyes. "Makes you want to join in, doesn't it?" She said.

"No, not really," Sheldon frowned.

"Okay then."

* * *

_Do you like? Please review and tell me if I should write another chapter. _


	2. The Seven Day Delay

_Back by popular demand, here is chapter one. This is where the plot really gets going. Enjoy and please drop a review if you don't mind!_

_I still own nothing. Never have, most likely never will. I'm 99.9999999% sure I will never own The Big Bang Theory. But hey, anything's possible, right? _

* * *

**_Chapter One: The Seven Day Delay_**

"Bernadette, are you almost ready?"

"Just, just a minute," Bernadette called, dropping the two sticks in her hands onto the bathroom counter. She sniffed and looked up at herself in the mirror. Her eyes were red and slightly puffy, and Bernadette hastily reapplied her mascara.

Her period was a week late. Bernadette's period was _never_ late, let alone seven days late. So she had gotten two pregnancy tests on her way to the reception venue and taken them while she got ready. Bernadette looked at them both again, now propped up against the mirror, one of them reading 'pregnant' and one 'not pregnant'. _It's probably just a false positive, _She told herself. _There's no way…_

"Are you okay in there?" Amy asked from the other side of the bathroom door. "As your maid of honor, Bernadette, I am concerned for your well being."

"I'm fine, Amy," Bernadette insisted, her voice as calm as she could muster. "Just give me a second to fix my makeup, okay?"

"I'm sure your makeup looks great," She heard Penny say. "Would you like some help?"

"No!" Bernadette replied far too quickly. "I'm, ummm, perfectly fine. Don't worry." There was a loud sigh from Penny and then the shuffling of feet as the two bridesmaids backed away from the door.

Bernadette dabbed the corners of her eyes, studying her face for any signs she had been crying. She took a deep breath, trying to calm herself. She was most definitely not okay. Bernadette didn't know what she would do if she was pregnant. She didn't want kids (they were loud, messy and ruined a woman's body and career) but she knew Howard did (unlike her, he saw children as miracles, blessings). Bernadette never doubted Howard would make an excellent father, but what about her? Would she make a good mother? She placed one hand on her middle, wondering what really was beneath the skin there.

Bernadette opened the bathroom door, smiling at Penny and Amy, who were waiting for her in their pink bridesmaid's dresses, the tiara on Amy's head. "Okay," She said. "I'm ready,"

She wasn't ready. But she couldn't lock herself up in the hotel room bathroom forever.

* * *

Amy walked over to Sheldon, who was studying the wedding cake, his head tilted off to the side. "Why are you looking at the cake like that?" She asked her boyfriend, moving to stand next to him. She reached for his hand but Sheldon moved it at the last minute, making Amy frown.

"I'm simply pondering the concept of the wedding cake," Sheldon said. "Back in the days of the Roman Empire, the groom would eat part of a loaf of barley bread and then break the rest over his bride's head, symbolizing the break of the bride's virginal state and the groom's dominance over her. Since these gender stereotypes no longer stand in society, why do we still honor the wedding cake tradition? It is simply lots of unneeded calories and sugars, plus we all know Bernadette, as they say, wears the pants in the relationship."

Amy smirked. "Well, over time I believe the custom evolved into a more modern version, in which the wedding cake is not about who's in charge, but simply a beautiful yet tasty dessert."

"Beautiful? This thing?" Sheldon said, looking back to the cake.

"It's a lot better than the loaf of bread the Romans used,"

"Yes, but if Howard and Bernadette were going to spend a lot of money on a dessert, it should've been perfect." He gestured to the bottom tier. "See that? That's a smudge."

Amy squinted and leaned forward, inspecting the bottom layer. Sure enough, there was a small splotch in the icing there. "Do you have impeccable sight as well as hearing?" She teased.

Sheldon scoffed. "Please, anyone with eyes could see that!"

"Blind people," Amy reminded him.

Sheldon paused. "True," He said. Then, he picked up a napkin, unfolding it and wrapping a little bit around his finger. "We should fix it,"

"Sheldon-" Amy began, but the former was already wiping down the area where the smudge was. She grabbed his arm and yanked it back, knocking a glob of icing off in the process. "Good job, Amy," The neurobiologist said to herself, shaking her head.

"Sarcasm?" Sheldon asked.

Amy glared at him. "What do you think, genius?"

"I'm going to go with yes,"

Amy shook her head, ignoring him. "What are we going to do?"

"Why don't we simply tell Howard and Bernadette you messed up their cake?" Sheldon questioned. "Or would that be socially unacceptable?"

"It's socially unacceptable to mess with someone else's wedding cake in the first place!" Amy said.

Sheldon thought about this. "Fascinating,"

"I know," Amy murmured, grabbing onto the platform the cake was on and turning, so the back of the cake was now in the front and the front of the cake was now in the back. She took the cake topper off and put it back on so it was facing forward, as if the cake had never been moved at all. "There," She said. "It's perfect,"

"Well-"

"_Perfect_," Amy cut Sheldon off, saying the word with emphasis.

Sheldon shrugged. "Okay, whatever you say,"

* * *

"Hey," Leonard said, walking up behind Penny and kissing her cheek. She giggled, dropping her fork and pushing her plate of half eaten cake away. "Care to dance? Or is that piece of cake more important to you than time with your little Homunculus?"

"Sure, dancing sounds great," Penny replied, standing up. "I can always make time for my little Homunculus," She let Leonard lead her out to the dance floor, which was full of people, including Howard and Bernadette and a tipsy Amy, who was awkwardly leading Sheldon through the motions. Penny gave them a small wave as her and Leonard walked past, and Sheldon mouthed 'help me' to her. She laughed.

Leonard extended his arm and Penny scooted herself closer, feeling his grip lock around her waist. She smiled at her boyfriend as they swayed back and forth, while Leonard was just focusing on not stepping on Penny's toes.

"You'll be fine," Penny said. "My feet are already killing me in these heels," She looked down at her feet.

"Why don't you just take them off?" Leonard asked.

Penny considered this. "You don't think Bernadette will mind?" She said finally.

"Probably not," Leonard said, nodding over to Howard and Bernadette, who were rubbing their noses together and laughing about something. "She seems pretty preoccupied over there."

At this, Penny kicked off her high heels, smiling once they were off. "Much better," She said. The waitress looked over to the happy couple. "I'm so proud of myself for setting the two of them up,"

"You did good," Leonard agreed.

"Don't you mean 'you did well'?" Penny teased.

Leonard chuckled, slightly amused by the correction. "Show off,"

Penny smirked, trying to hide how proud she was of herself. "There truly is someone out there for everyone, isn't there?"

"Yeah, there is," There was a pause as Leonard looked away from his friends and back to Penny. She turned her head and smiled as their eyes met, while he kept a serious expression. "Am I the someone for you?" Leonard asked.

"You're not proposing again, are you?" Penny had meant this jokingly, but as she saw the look of hurt cross Leonard's face, she felt her own expression falter. "Oh my God, you're not proposing again are you?"

"No." Leonard said, shaking his head and looking down, trying to focus on dancing. _One, two, three, one, two, three…_ "No, this is Howard and Bernadette's day." The song ended a moment later and Leonard and Penny walked back to their table. Leonard gulped, the small box he had stashed in his pocket feeling suddenly much heavier. He hadn't really been planning to ask Penny today or tomorrow or even in a few months, but he'd bought the ring and brought it with him today just in case. Now, he really wished he hadn't; it felt more like a memory of his failure than a promise of forever.

"Hey Raj," Penny greeted, the Indian man now back from the bar and at his seat at the wedding party's table. Penny sat back down and began to continue picking at her cake.

"Oh Penny, oh Leonard," Raj said, looking out at the dance floor dreamily. He was clearly drunk. "I'm going to be alone forever,"

Leonard slid back into his own seat next to Penny. "How much have you been drinking tonight, Raj?" He asked.

Raj chose to ignore Leonard's comment. "Howard's married, you guys are together, even Sheldon has a girlfriend. Sheldon!" Leonard and Penny looked over to the Shamy (Amy was now trying to kiss Sheldon, while he was coaxing her back to the table) and Raj took a big gulp of his drink. Leonard and Penny turned back to him, holding back laughs at Sheldon and Amy's struggle. "Why can't I find a girl?" Raj asked.

"Here's an idea: maybe because you can't talk to them?" Leonard remarked.

"I'm getting better!" Raj retorted. "I can sometimes talk to Penny or Amy or Bernadette without being drunk!"

"You'll find someone eventually, Raj," Penny assured him as Sheldon and Amy sat down at the table, the waitress giving Raj a small pat on the hand.

Raj sighed and picked up his fork to take a bite of his piece of cake. He froze. "Does the icing look smudged to you?" He asked.

Sheldon and Amy shared a knowing look, and everyone turned to them. Sheldon gave them his koala smile. "Do you know why the wedding cake tradition began? It all started in the Roman Empire - "

* * *

"I love you," Howard murmured, pressing a kiss into Bernadette's hair.

His wife smiled, nuzzling into his neck. "I love you, too," For a moment, Bernadette had almost completely forgotten about the pregnancy tests. With Howard's arms wrapped around her, it was almost as if that nagging worry that had been bothering her earlier had disappeared…until she spotted one of his cousins and her baby across the room.

The child, a little girl, couldn't have been more than a year old. She was smiling at her mother, icing not only all over her face but even in her tufts of brown hair. Her mother leaned forward and wiped her daughter's face, then kissed the baby's button nose. The child giggled and clapped her hands.

Bernadette had to admit that it was a cute baby. She wondered if she would look as good as Howard's cousin did after she had a baby (the woman looked relatively slim, even in her bulky blue dress) or if her and Howard's baby would have brown hair or a button nose…well, if they were really having a baby. But, with her period being seven days late, Bernadette knew the odds were not necessarily in her favor.

"Bernadette?"

"Hmm?" The little blonde said, wondering how long Howard had been trying to get her attention.

"Are you okay?" Howard asked, clearly worried about her.

Bernadette cast one more glance at the baby across the room and the look of pure adoration in the mother's eyes, then looked back to Howard. "Yeah," She said. "Yeah, I'm perfect,"

* * *

_1,883 words, not counting author's note or chapter title…wow, longest chapter I've written in either of my stories. Pat on the back for me._

_Review? What parts did you like or dislike? Tell me! _


	3. The Hypothetical Reduction

_New chapter time! I was going to post earlier today, but up until just now the second half remained unwritten. _

_Warning: Lots of Weepy!Bernadette and Drunk!Amy ahead. I'm always worried I'm going to mess these characters up, since I don't know them as well as characters in other fandoms. I only just got into TBBT this year. But I promise, overemotional Bernadette will stop soon. But you know, pregnancy scares make people dramatic. _

_Oh, and I just want to say thank you the people without accounts who reviewed, since I normally thank first time reviewers via PM, Roxie, vasu, Reviewer and Alex! _

_I still do not own TBBT. Damn._

* * *

**_Chapter Two: The Hypothetical Reduction _**

"Bernadette? What is this?"

The microbiologist in question looked up as Howard exited the hotel room bathroom (they planned to spend the night there, at the hotel their reception had been held at, because his launch being moved up had totally messed up their honeymoon plans), holding two sticks in his hand. Bernadette felt her heart sink as she realized what they were; the two pregnancy tests from earlier, one flashing 'pregnant', the other with the opposite result. "Howard-" She began, unsure of how to explain herself.

"Are you pregnant?" Howard cut her off. He sounded nervous, but there was another emotion mixed in his tone. It took Bernadette a moment to identify it, but when she did, she knew it was hope.

"I don't know!" She choked out, feeling the waterworks threatening to start up again. Bernadette felt the bed shift under Howard's weight as he sat down beside her, pulling her closer as she sobbed into his chest. "I don't know," She repeated, her voice muffled by Howard's shirt.

"But you might be?" Howard asked.

Bernadette sniffed. "Yes," In that moment, she felt terrible. She knew how much Howard wanted a child, how important it was to him, and she felt so awful for getting his hopes up, when they possibly might be let down. Bernadette let out another sob, and she knew she was probably getting Howard's shirt wet, but at that moment it was the least of her worries. "Seven days," She murmured. "_Seven. Days. Late._" She paused after emphasizing each word, making them sound like separate sentences.

"Hey, look at me," Bernadette tilted her head up, meeting Howard's gaze. His eyes were just so, so full of hope and love and worry, and Bernadette felt like she might break down again just look at him.

"I love you," Howard began. "And you know I want to have kids, but if – and I'm just saying if here – you are pregnant, it's your decision what you want to do, okay? I won't pressure you into anything,"

Bernadette frowned at the words, not because she didn't like what Howard was saying, but because she knew what different options he could mean. But Bernadette knew she could never kill Howard's baby, never. If she was pregnant, she was not getting an abortion, and that was final. "I could never-" She began, but she stopped abruptly. Bernadette knew she wouldn't be able to get the words out, so she simply said: "I wouldn't blame you if you left me for some other woman, someone who would happily have your babies." They may not have been any happier than what she had begun to say, but somehow Bernadette found this easier to speak. In all honesty, Bernadette wouldn't blame Howard if he did. At that moment she felt like he deserved someone who wasn't so damn conflicted.

"I wouldn't want anyone else to have them besides you," Howard said, taking her hand in his. "When I said forever, I meant it,"

"I did to," Bernadette replied. "But, I don't know what I want. If I am pregnant, I don't know how I'd feel about it," She gulped; finally feeling her tears subside, and took a deep breath. It was kind of a relief to finally say what she'd been feeling all day. "I mean, you're so sure that you want a child and I'm so…not. My internal debate is still raging."

"That's okay," Howard assured her. "This is a big thing, you know? I understand that you're feeling nervous or scared. I get it, Bernie, I do."

Bernadette nodded, lying down on the bed. She pulled the blankets up around her and closed her eyes, feeling Howard shift so he was lying beside her. The lights turned off and her husband pulled her close. They lay like that for a moment, enjoying the quiet. Then, Bernadette asked: "What would you do?"

"Hmmm?"

"If I was pregnant, what would you do?" She specified. "It might help me make up my mind."

It was silent, and for a second Bernadette thought Howard had fallen asleep, until he answered. "I will come with you to all your doctor appointments. I'll make midnight food runs to get whatever you're craving and hold back your hair when you have morning sickness. I'll remind you of how beautiful you are when you think you're fat, and I'll hold your hand and offer support when you give birth. But most of all, I promise to love our baby just as much as I love you,"

Bernadette smiled in the darkness, touched by Howard's words. She leaned up and found his cheek, kissing it lightly, reassuring him she had listened to every single thing he said. When she finally closed her eyes, she saw the little girl from the reception earlier that evening and the love that Howard's cousin obviously had for her baby. She still thought about what her own child would be like. Only this time, they weren't just hypothetical's. _When Howard and I have a baby, she'll have brown hair and a button nose too. _She thought this time. _After I have the baby I'll have that look of love on my face. I will be a good mother and Howard will be the best father. _Bernadette touched her stomach again, only this time the thought of possibly being pregnant did not terrify her (okay, it terrified her a little, your entire view can only change so fast). "Maybe…" She whispered into the darkness. "Maybe we're ready after all."

Maybe, after all, Bernadette had deep down, way way deep down, wanted a child with Howard Wolowitz. Maybe,_ just_ maybe.

* * *

"Alright," Sheldon said, opening the door to Amy's apartment. His girlfriend was currently leaning against him, too drunk to walk steadily. "You're home now, so I'm just going to lay you down in your bed…" Amy let out a small groan, her eyes still squeezed shut.

Sheldon found Amy's bedroom rather quickly and propped open the door, gently placing Amy down on her bed.

"Mmmm," Amy murmured, rolling onto her side. "Pajamas?"

"_No_," Sheldon said firmly. "Amy, I am not changing you." Amy left out a small "humph" and Sheldon turned to go, until his girlfriend grabbed him by the shirt and pulled him onto the bed. "Amy!"

"Stay with me?" Amy asked, her eyes opening slightly. "Please, Sheldon?"

Sheldon sighed in defeat. "Well, you are my girlfriend, and you are clearly not feeling well, plus I doubt you will remember any of this in the morning..."

"Is that a yes?" Amy smiled.

"…Yes," Sheldon said reluctantly. "But just know I will not be sleeping well tonight because of you!"

Amy scooted closer, putting her head on Sheldon's chest. The latter stiffened at first, but then he relaxed after a moment. "Goodnight, Sheldon,"

"Goodnight, Amy,"

For once, Sheldon Cooper was wrong; he fell asleep instantly.

* * *

_And so Bernadette begins to consider the idea of having children with Howard. _

_Sorry if there are any typo's, I didn't read this over. I really wanted to post it. Review? _


	4. The Pizza Division Predicament

_Another new chapter for you all! Fanfiction isn't counting anonymous reviews (well, it wasn't, I fixed it) so I actually have four (I think it's four…) more reviews than it says, from the people I thanked last chapter. That's really more for me than for you, because I know I'll forget. _

_To the person without the account who asked about Leonard and Penny (Sammy): I didn't forget about them. I just didn't include them in the last chapter. This is a H/B centered story, so some chapters I will have the others couples and some I will not. Down the road I may even make a chapter entirely about another couple. It depends. _

_I will try to update soon, but I'm starting college (I'm very excited, not that anyone cares but I felt like saying it anyway) and so I will be busy. Just one more week until I go! Wish me luck! _

_I do not own The Big Bang Theory. Okay? I'm simply borrowing it, you could say. _

_Well, enough about me. On with the chapter! _

* * *

**_Chapter Three: The Pizza Division Predicament _**

When Howard woke up in the morning, he was alone. "Bernie?" He mumbled, sitting up. Her side of the bed was cold, the covers kicked down to the bottom of the bed as if she had left in a haste.

Howard found Bernadette in the bathroom. She was sitting on the bathroom floor, a tissue in her hands. "Hey," Howard said, kneeling down beside her. "Are you okay?"

In response, Bernadette simply held up the tissue so Howard could see the small red stain on it. "It came," She said with an emotion Howard could not place.

It came; a week late, but there nonetheless. She wasn't pregnant. There was no baby.

This was the part where he was supposed to be relieved. But, as Howard processed this information, he felt crushing disappointment come over him. "Well…" He responded slowly, unsure of what to say. "That's a relief,"

Bernadette nodded. "Yeah, huge relief," Her voice wavered and Howard saw she had tears in the corners of her eyes. "I mean, we weren't ready for a baby anyway."

"Right," Howard hugged her, letting his expression falter during their embrace. He didn't want Bernadette to see how sad he was, obviously she was happy at the news and he didn't want to upset her when this was clearly the result she'd wanted. It was selfish of him to wish that they were having a baby after all, when a pregnancy would be such a physical toll on Bernadette. So, he simply let the façade fall for the moment they hugged, holding his wife tightly.

As Howard hugged her, Bernadette finally let the first tear fall down her face, and she bit her lip to prevent herself from crying out. When she had gotten her period this morning Bernadette had expected to feel happy, but instead she had been overcome with a wave of disappointment. She blinked back tears, not wanting Howard to see her cry. Bernadette knew she must've been prepared for a child on some level, why else would she have convinced herself she would be a good mom and felt so happy when Howard told her how perfectly fine a baby would be? Yet, despite this she had still be a little surprised by the ferocity of the sadness she was now feeling.

_This is good, _Bernadette thought to herself, repeating it over and over again like a mantra. _This is good, this is good, this is good. _But still, a part of her did not believe the words. She had a great husband she loved dearly who had wanted kids with her all along and a well paying job she adored. If she was ever going to have a child, now would be as good a time as any. It's not like she had been entirely opposed to the idea of a little human that was half her and half Howard growing inside of her for nine months before he or she was ready to face the world. Now that she thought about it, it wasn't that awful a notion.

The couple pulled away, both of them flashing phony smiles at each other. Bernadette dabbed at the wetness in her eyes, coming up with a quick excuse for her tears. "I'm…I'm just so relieved."

* * *

"Where the hell have you been?" Penny asked teasingly as Sheldon and Amy entered Apartment 4A.

"I never thought I would see Sheldon Cooper do the walk of shame," Leonard laughed, sitting besides Penny on the couch and handing her one of two drinks.

Penny snorted and took a sip of her water. "Don't you mean the walk of Shamy?"

"Amy and I are not doing the walk of shame!" Sheldon retorted. "She was in an alcohol induced distress last night and I, as her boyfriend, was needed to comfort her. We did not engage in coitus, unlike yours with Leonard, Penny, Amy and I have a relationship of the mind,"

"I still love you anyway, bestie," Amy interjected and Penny gave a sarcastic thumbs up.

Sheldon sat down at his spot and Amy on the chair. The door opened and in walked Raj, carrying a large pizza box. "Food's here!" He called out.

"Oh thank God! I'm starving!" Penny said with a clap of her hands, starting to open it the box Raj had placed on the table.

"You are not _starving_," Sheldon sighed, exasperated. "Starving means to be weak or dying of hunger. It is possible you could be hungry or even ravenous, but not starving."

Penny rolled her eyes and flipped open the box. "Okay, plates please,"

"Wait a minute," Sheldon said, touching her arm to stop her from serving. He turned to Raj. "Did you get our usual fourteen slice pie?"

"Yes," Raj answered. "Why do you ask?"

"Why do I ask?" Sheldon sighed again. "Well, then how will we divide it equally? Normally there are seven of us on pizza night, me, Amy, Leonard, Penny, Raj, Howard and Bernadette, so we can spilt a fourteen slice pie equally, each of us getting two pieces of pizza. However, tonight there are only five of us, since Howard and Bernadette are on their honeymoon. We cannot divide fourteen slices of pizza equally among five people. Four of us could get three slices and one of us two, but that is not even, plus I cannot consume more than my allotted two slices, my stomach cannot handle the change."

"So then you can be the person who only gets two, problem solved," Leonard said.

Sheldon opened his mouth to retort, but Penny cut him off. "Yay! Everyone's happy! Let's eat!"

"I can't wait until Howard and Bernadette get back from their honeymoon," Sheldon said as his friends dug into the food. "My life will be chaos until they return," He took a bite of his pizza, chewing slowly.

"Such a piece of work," Penny murmured under her breath, taking a bite. Leonard playfully elbowed her.

"Okay, listen up everyone," Raj began. "I have something I would like to share with you all,"

"Are you drunk?"

Raj frowned. "No, I told you, I'm working on it! In fact, that has to do with my announcement. I have decided to see a psychologist who can help me with my selective mutism."

"That's great, Raj," Leonard said.

"We're proud of you, sweetie," Penny added, patting Raj's hand. He smiled at her.

"Oh, great," Sheldon said. "Another change to my schedule! Why can't things simply stay as they are? For instance -"

Penny leaned over to Leonard to whisper in his ear. "Better crack open the wine, it's gonna be a long night."

* * *

_Bet you weren't expecting that, were you? Bernadette's not pregnant after all! _

_Review, please? Pretty please with a cherry on top?_


	5. The Facial Juxtaposition

_Sorry this took so long but when I was packing three days ago I kind of…lost my computer charger. Yeah, I know, sad. But I found it now, so we're all good! Enjoy the chapter!_

_Oh, and I wasn't offended by the review at all, Sammy! I understand. And thank you! _

_Warning: Spoiler for the ending of 500 Days of Summer_

_I own nothing. Damn. _

* * *

**_Chapter Four: The Facial Juxtaposition _**

"I can't believe I'm saying this, but I'm so glad you're back, Howard and Bernadette," Sheldon said, sitting down at his spot on the couch that Sunday night; he, Howard, Bernadette, Raj and Amy all in 4A. "Without an even number of people, our social group was just in chaos. We couldn't even divide a pizza!" Howard and Bernadette both nodded, only pretending to listen.

"Where are Leonard and Penny?" Raj asked out of the blue. "They should've been back with the food already,"

"Don't remind him!" Howard said under his breath, nudging in Sheldon's direction. But the damage had already been done.

The latter checked his watch. "It is 7:10! Dinner was supposed to start at seven! Where are they? They are messing up my schedule!"

"Sheldon, I'm sure they'll be here soon," Amy said, trying to be comforting.

"Soon?" Sheldon repeated. "Soon? Soon is not good enough, Amy! I have a very tight schedule that must be upheld!"

Howard and Bernadette exchanged a look. "Remind me why we decided to come spend our first night back from our honeymoon with Sheldon?" The former whispered.

His wife smirked. "No idea,"

Halfway through Sheldon's rant about the importance of a schedule (which no one was listening to, except for possibly Amy, but even she looked like she was zoning out) the door opened and Leonard and Penny walked in with the take-out. "You're late!" Sheldon said, annoyed.

"Sorry," Penny remarked, placing a few cartons on the table. "But there was this cute little baby in the lobby! God, he was so adorable! Wasn't he, Leonard?"

"Very cute," Leonard agreed, putting down the food in his own arms. "The mother had him dressed in this little hat and so Penny-"

Sheldon cut him off. "An infant has moved into this building? Well, there goes my sleep!"

"Sheldon, it's just a baby," Penny sighed. "What's the big deal?"

"What's the big deal?" Sheldon said in a tone that was clearly meant to mock Penny's. "Children are loudy and noisy, Penny! They cry all night long. In fact, in addition to eating, sleeping and going number two, it is all they do. And another thing-"

"Hey, are the two of you, okay?" Raj asked Howard and Bernadette, who suddenly had very somber looks on their faces. "You guys look like how I did when I found out that Tom and Summer didn't get together at the end of 500 Days of Summer."

"What are you talking about?" Bernadette asked a little too quickly.

"Yeah, these are just our normal faces," Howard added. He turned to Raj. "Raj, are you saying there's something wrong with our faces?" His best friend immediately shook his head.

There was a long pause as the rest of the gang studied the couple, thinking about what could be wrong with them. Then, a wide smile broke out on Penny's face. "Oh my God!" She gasped. "You're pregnant, aren't you Bernadette?"

Bernadette felt her forced grin falter at the accusation. She opened her mouth to say she wasn't, but apparently Penny had taken the long pause as a yes. The waitress squealed loudly and clapped her hands. "Oh my God, this is so exciting! I can't believe this is happening! Leonard, I _told_ you she'd change her mind-"

Bernadette opened her mouth to choke out a no, but Howard beat her to it. "Penny," He said, as calmly and firmly as he could. "She's not,"

Penny frowned. "But…"

"She's not," Howard repeated.

Everyone's eyes went to Bernadette, as if for affirmation. "No," She said. "I'm not," Slowly, with everyone's gazes still trained on her, the little blonde arose from her seat and smoothed down her skirt. "If you'll excuse me,"

Bernadette walked away as fast as her short legs could carry her. She'd sworn she was cried out, she'd told herself she was over it. Yet, Penny assuming that Bernadette was pregnant had surprisingly hit her hard. In fact, she barely made it to the bathroom before breaking down.

* * *

Sometime later (Bernadette wasn't sure how much longer later, it felt like a long time to her but it was probably on a few moments), there was a knock at the bathroom door. "Bernie?" Howard's voice called from the other side. "Are you alright, can I come in?"

Bernadette remembered then how she'd locked herself up in that hotel room bathroom on the day of the reception; how she'd been bawling her eyes out much like she was now and how Penny and Amy had been asking her how she was from the other side of the door, like Howard was doing now. Only this time, it was the fact that she wasn't pregnant bringing her to tears, not the fact that she might be.

"Yeah," She said finally, blinking away the last of her tears. "Come in,"

Howard opened the door tentatively, and Bernadette gave him a half smile, encouraging him to come him. Once he had, she buried her face in his chest. "I didn't think I'd be this sad," Bernadette mumbled into his shirt. "And yet I am,"

"I know," Howard replied, wrapping his arms around her waist. "I know,"

"It's just…" Bernadette lifted her head up, so she could look into Howard's eyes. "I never wanted kids, that was never something I saw for myself. But, I don't know, something's…different. Like I finally got used to the idea and then it was yanked away, if that makes any sense." Howard didn't know if she wanted an answer or not, so he nodded. It seemed she did, as Bernadette kept talking after that. "I don't know what changed exactly. I mean maybe nothing ever did, maybe I always wanted it, maybe I just didn't know it yet." She stopped and looked at Howard expectantly.

"What are you saying?" He asked, hopeful.

She shrugged. "I'm saying, that if you still want to have kids with me, that I feel the same way."

Howard's expression went from hopeful to grinning. "Really?"

"Yeah, really,"

They kissed slowly and tenderly, enjoying the feeling of the other's lips, and after they pulled apart they just looked at each other for a moment. "So…did we just agree to have a baby?"

Bernadette smiled as she answered. "We did,"


	6. The Brain Aneurism Presumption

_I only got three reviews for the last chapter…that makes me sad. Review? Please? Pretty please with a cherry on top? I want to know I'm doing a good job. _

_Guess what I own? Nothing? You win! Your prize? This chapter. _

* * *

**_Chapter Five: The Brain Aneurism Presumption _**

"Oh my God," Bernadette sighed, her head resting down on Howard's bare chest. "That was _great_,"

"That was _amazing_," Howard corrected, a grin still plastered to his face. "Do you want to go for round two later?"

Bernadette smirked. "Well if we want to have a child together that's a sacrifice we'll have to make," She said sarcastically. They kissed, rolled over, and were just getting into it when…

"HOWARD! I'M BACK FROM THE STORE!"

Howard pulled away and closed his eyes for a second, clearly not wanting to be interrupted and wishing this wasn't happening, before answering his mother. "OKAY MA!"

"IS MY DAUGHTER-IN-LAW HERE?"

"YES, BERNADETTE IS HERE! NOW IF YOU'LL EXCUSE US, WE'RE KIND OF IN THE MIDDLE OF SOMETHING!"

"ARE THE TWO OF YOU HAVING SEX UP THERE?" Howard shook his head slightly, annoyed, and Bernadette held a hand over her mouth, trying not to laugh. "THAT'S A YES, ISN'T IT?" This time, Bernadette couldn't hold it in. She burst out laughing.

Howard cringed. "…MAYBE."

"WELL GOOD!" Mrs. Wolowitz replied. "I WANT GRANDCHILDREN BEFORE I DIE!" Then there was the loud closing of the bathroom door and everything was quiet.

"Oh my God," Bernadette laughed. "I'm sorry, I can't…" She broke off in a fit of laughter.

Howard rolled his eyes. "I know, my mother screaming at us as we're about to have sex is _so_ funny," He said, humoring her.

Bernadette smiled. "Good thing is she said she wants grandchildren,"

"If only she knew…" Howard paused. "Do you think we should've told her?"

"Told her what?" Bernadette asked, confused. "Howie, there's no baby to tell her about yet,"

"Well, there will be soon," Howard replied. "I mean, we're both healthy right? How long do these usually things take?"

Bernadette shrugged. "We don't know how long it'll take us, everyone's different. Some people get pregnant right away and others take years,"

"Way to think positive,"

"I'm being realistic!"

They were silent for a long moment, the mood killed. Finally, Bernadette spoke up. "Where are we going to live when we have a baby?"

Howard considered this. "I'd say we could live over my mother's garage, but I don't think you'd like that answer,"

"No, I would not," Bernadette sat up in bed, covering her chest with the sheet. "Howard, you need to cut the umbilical cord with your mother. I'm not raising a baby here. Why don't you live with me?"

"You don't have a second bedroom,"

"Well, then we can just live in my apartment for a while and look for a bigger house," Bernadette retorted. "So what do you say? Will you move in with me?"

"That didn't work out so well last time, Bernie," Howard said, unsure.

"Well, we're married now, we've been together longer. Plus, if we're going to start a family, we should probably live in the same house,"

"_If_?"

Bernadette playfully elbowed him. "You know what I meant,"

Howard smirked. "Yeah, I do. And you're right, I'm just worried my mom will be upset if I move out,"

"Well, I think if you're moving out to give her a grandchild, I don't think she'll mind," Bernadette said. Then she added, jokingly: "Or maybe it'll give her the brain aneurism you've been hoping for,"

Howard smiled at the reference to their first date. "Maybe," He pressed a kiss to her temple. "Maybe,"

* * *

Raj waited anxiously on the couch, tapping his foot against the floor out of boredom. Today was the first meeting with his therapist, and Raj was really hoping he could help him. The door opened, right on time, and Raj looked up, freezing when he saw who entered.

A petite, thin, brunette woman in a pantsuit walked in, holding a clipboard. She was very beautiful and when she smiled at Raj he felt like his throat was about to close up. "Hello Raj," She said, sitting down cross legged in the chair across from him. "I'm Dr. Adelaide Snow; I'll be the psychologist talking to you during your sessions,"

Raj cleared his throat, trying to point out that she was definitely female and there was no way in Hell he could talk to her, but nothing came out except for a small, strained sound. God, that was embarassing.

Adelaide smiled and picked up a glass. "Drink it," Raj raised an eyebrow as he took the glass and Adelaide clarified: "It's alcohol,"

Raj nodded and took a sip, feeling the burn of hard liquor in the back of his throat. He gulped. "Rajesh Koothrappali,"

The doctor smiled. "Well," She said. "Don't you have a nice voice. Now, can you tell me when your selective mutism started?"

Raj leaned back and began to explain to Dr. Snow. He looked at her discreetly, watching her scribble down some notes, leaning forward ever so slightly so her shirt fell a little bit away from her breasts. Maybe therapy wouldn't be so bad after all.

* * *

_I knew I had to include Howard's mother at some point. So der you go!_

_I really didn't know what else should happen in this chapter…so sorry it's short. Review?_


	7. The Dramatic Pause Perplexity

_Sorry this took longer than I would've liked, I really didn't know what should happen next. Finally, I sat down and wrote this. If anyone has any ideas (especially for how I could get the Leonard/Penny and Sheldon/Amy moving) send me a PM, please! It's like, I know where I want to go but I don't know how to get there, if that makes any sense. _

_If any of you think I own TBBT, I'm going to go out on a limb here and say you haven't been paying attention._

* * *

**_Chapter Six: The Dramatic Pause Perplexity_**

"So guess what?" Raj said randomly as the group sat around Sheldon and Leonard's apartment.

"You're drunk?" Penny guessed, and Raj gave her a look.

"How many times do we have to go over this, I'm getting better! In fact, that has to do with my news." He paused, possibly for dramatic effect. But of course, Sheldon did not understand this.

"So, what's your news?" He asked. "I'd like to move this conversation forward,"

"It was a dramatic pause," Raj retorted, slightly annoyed. He took a breath and then smiled. "I'm in love."

"Awww," Bernadette smiled. "That's so sweet, Raj. I told you someone would snatch you up eventually,"

"Who is it? A selectively mute girl?" Howard asked half-jokingly.

"No," Raj frowned. "Actually…" He wasn't sure how to say this, so he just blurted it out. "She doesn't think about me that way, at least I don't think she does,"

The excited smiles on the faces of his friends faltered when he said this (except for Sheldon, who had kept the same face the entire time).

"Oh," Bernadette said finally, the disappointment in her voice evident.

"Who is she?" Leonard asked. "Have you talked to her?"

"She's my therapist," Raj explained. "She's super beautiful and in the week I've been seeing her, she's been helping me a lot. Now I can talk to women with barely any alcohol in my system. She thinks my selective mutism stems from my strong desire to please women, or something along those lines,"

"You'll never know how she feels about you unless you try," Penny said, shrugging.

"Yeah Raj," Amy interjected. "You're a mildly attractive man with a good career and only some psychological problems. How can she not go for you?" Everyone turned to look at Amy, who clearly thought she was being nice.

"Sweetie," Penny remarked gently. "Remember that time we talked about what is helpful and what is not?"

Amy frowned. "And that was not?" She was clearly surprised by this.

Penny nodded slowly. "Yeah, not,"

"Okay," The neurobiologist looked down and went back to her food.

Bernadette patted Raj's hand comfortingly. "I still have faith that someday you'll find the one," She looked at Howard out of the corner of her eye, smirking. "I know I did,"

Raj smiled faintly. "Can we talk about something else now? This conversation is kind of depressing,"

"Oh!" Amy cried, her hand shooting in the air. "I have something!"

Leonard wrinkled his nose instinctively, confused. "Uh, Amy?"

She dropped her hand. "Well, as you all know, the second Thursday of the month is coming up, which means date night for me and Sheldon. And, I was wondering if would all like to make it a group date,"

Howard and Bernadette exchanged a look. "There's no way I'm letting Sheldon Cooper ruin my baby making mood," Howard mouthed.

"Please," Bernadette mouthed back. "Nothing could ruin that for you,"

Howard fought the urge to roll his eyes as he turned back to the Shamy. "Sorry guys, Bernadette and I have plans,"

"Oh, that's too bad, but I was talking to Leonard and Penny," Amy said, turning towards the couple in question.

"No," They both said at the same time.

Amy frowned. "But…but bestie!"

"Sorry Ames-" Penny began.

"Please, please, please, please, please, please, please-"

"If I say yes will you shut up?"

"Yay!" Amy cried, throwing her arms around Penny's shoulders. "This will be so much fun!"

Leonard and Sheldon both frowned. Neither of them was looking forward to this.

* * *

Howard looked up as he heard a small knock at his office door the next afternoon. He smiled, seeing Bernadette standing in his doorway. "Hey you," He said. "What are you doing here?"

"Can't I visit my husband during my lunch break?" Bernadette replied, letting him kiss her.

"Well, lucky you I don't have much work today,"

"Yay,"

They kept their lips together, kissing passionately, and Bernadette moved so she was sitting on top of Howard's desk. Howard was about to suggest he close the door (he didn't want anyone walking in them making out, especially in his place of work) when they heard a familiar voice.

"What's up my-" Raj trailed off, realizing what he had walked in on and Howard and Bernadette pulled apart, looking at him. Howard smiled sheepishly, while Bernadette tugged on the hem of her cardigan, straightening it. "_Oh_, I was going to ask if you were going to the cafeteria but I see you have company." He added awkwardly: "Hi Bernadette."

The little blonde smiled slightly. "Hello Raj."

"I'll just be going then," Raj said, beginning to back away.

"No, it's fine," Bernadette insisted, sliding off the desk as gracefully as she could. "I should be getting back to work anyway. Those tiny organisms aren't going to study themselves! But why don't we all have dinner on Thursday, since the Shamy, Leonard and Penny will be out?"

"Sounds good," Howard said, and Raj nodded quickly, still a little frazzled.

"Great," Bernadette said. "Talk to you tonight Howie, see you later Raj," She smiled and left.

Howard groaned to himself while Raj simply blinked. "You guys weren't going to…you know; do the dance with no pants in here were you?"

"What? No!" Howard replied. "This is my workplace, talk about unprofessional Raj," The two scientists started down the hallway, walking in silence for a moment.

Finally, Raj mumbled. "That would've be kind of kinky though, you know you two doing it on the desk,"

Howard smiled to himself. "Yeah, totally,"

"Are you going to remember that for later?"

"You know it,"

* * *

_I swore Shamy's date night was the third Thursday of the month, but The Big Bang Theory wiki states otherwise. If it is wrong, do not blame me. It's not my fault!_


	8. The Therapist Sublimation

_Okay, so just so you know, Raj will not be entering an inappropriate relationship with his therapist (at least, not while she's his therapist). While reading your reviews I just waited to scream "I know! I'm sorry! It's coming!"_

_ I'm not encouraging anyone to get with their therapist. It is not a good idea. Not at all. Don't do it. Period. _

_Thanks to those who helped me with ideas for this chapter…you know who you are. _

_I do not own anything._

* * *

**_Chapter Seven: The Therapist Sublimation _**

Raj absolutely adored his sessions with Dr. Snow. Every single one, he was able to tell her more and more with less and less alcohol, it was like some kind of miracle or something.

"Your condition is improving," Dr. Snow was saying, thumbing through her notes. "Oh and by the way, that alcohol I gave you in the beginning?"

Raj frowned. "Yes?"

"That was flavored water," Dr. Snow smiled. "You've been talking to me this whole time without any alcohol in your system,"

As this set in, Raj could practically hear his heart thumping. It was now or never. "So umm, Adelaide…_Dr. Snow_," He corrected when he saw her raised eyebrow. "I was wondering if you wanted to ummm…do something tonight."

At this statement, Dr. Snow looked nothing less than horrified. "Raj…" She said slowly and carefully. "I can't. I'm your _therapist_,"

Raj felt his face falter. "And you've helped me get so much better…"

"Raj, I think this will have to be our last session."

There was a long silence once this had been said. "Wh…what?" Raj stuttered.

"I can only do so much for you," The doctor explained. "I'm sorry, good luck with all your future endeavors," She ushered to the door and Raj could tell this was his cue to leave. He rose slowly, backing away towards the door. Dr. Snow – Adelaide – wasn't looking at him, her gaze was trained on her papers. To her, Raj was nothing more than another job well done. He would never be anything more than a cured patient with a lovely voice to this beautiful girl who had helped him so much. And that thought made Raj sick.

* * *

"Okay," Penny called from her bathroom. "What do you think about this one?"

Amy looked up from the thick, glossy magazine she was browsing through, sitting up on the bed as Penny walked out, holding up black linen dress. Amy shook her head. "No way, show some skin bestie! You're not a nun!"

Penny rolled her eyes and tossed the black dress back on the bed, grabbing some more and walking back into the bathroom. "So," She said from the other side of the door, fiddling with a zipper. "You always say that you want to have an intimate relationship why Sheldon, God knows why, so why are you taking me and Leonard on your date with you?"

Amy looked down at the comforter, biting her lip. She heard the door open as Penny stepped out, and Amy could feel Penny's hand rest comfortingly on her shoulder. "It's just…I was hoping seeing a couple as in love as you and Leonard might inspire Sheldon to be more loving towards me," She spewed it all out and then looked up, pausing to admire what Penny was in. The waitress was now wearing a red halter dress that cut off just above the knee, very sexy in an effortless way. "Oh," Amy said. "That's perfect,"

Penny looked down at herself. "You think so?" She shrugged. "I guess it does make my legs look pretty good!" She snorted and Amy smiled slightly. Penny sat down on the bed and picked up a pair of shoes, putting them on as she addressed the neurobiologist. "Ames, Sheldon is just so…well, _Sheldon_." Penny lifted up her one foot, inspecting her black velvet pump. Once she deemed it satisfactory, she began to put the other one on. "It's nothing against you, in fact I think he actually does feel a great deal of affection for you,"

Amy sniffed a little, looking at the rejects that were strewn around Penny's room and holding a magenta off the shoulder dress with a big bow at the waist up to herself. Penny frowned and slowly pulled it out of her hands, shaking her head. "I know he cares about me in his own way Penny it's just…I wish he could show me he does sometimes, you know? Is that selfish?"

"Awww, Ames, not at all," Penny assured her, standing up and looking at herself in the mirror. She pulled open her jewelry box and held up a pair of earrings to her earlobe. "I totally get it. If Sheldon was my boyfriend…and I can't even finish that sentence," Penny put on the earrings and then walked back over towards Amy, stopping short and turning to her closet, suddenly grinning. "Ames, I think I have an idea."

"An idea?" Amy repeated, sounding unsure.

"Yes," Penny reaffirmed. "And it's a Hell of good one. It's such a good idea even Dr. Sheldon Cooper won't be able to keep his hands off you."

* * *

Leonard let out a sigh as he examined the small velvet box. He flipped open the lid, taking in the ring he had purchased, hoping it would someday adorn Penny's finger. The band was silver and slim, while the diamond was in the center of a rose shape, silver and diamond leaves surrounding it. It was beautiful and yes it had cost a lot, but he thought Penny was worth it. Leonard wished he wasn't the one carrying it around, he wished it was with his girlfriend. And Leonard had tried, honestly he had tried, but just as he was about to whip the ring box out every time…

"Leonard?"

Leonard looked up and shoved the box into his pocket as Sheldon walked in the room, wearing a jacket over his usual long sleeved T-shirt. "Yes, what is it Sheldon?"

"I have recently experienced some…peculiar feelings and I'd like to ask for your input," Sheldon said, fiddling with his jacket buttons.

Leonard paused, wondering what Sheldon meant by "peculiar". "Okay," He said finally.

"Well…and this is kind of embarrassing…" Sheldon began, sitting down at his spot. "You know I recently spent the night with Amy Farrah Fowler, yes?"

Leonard nodded slowly; amused by how the phrase "spent the night with" was used to _literally_ mean "spent the night with". "Yeah,"

"Well, when I woke up this morning I was actually quite…saddened to realize I was alone." Sheldon explained, looking down. "I do not understand where this feeling of loneliness comes from. I am a man of science, not such carnal sexual desires."

Leonard smiled a little bit. "Well, maybe you've just grown accustomed to Amy's company."

Sheldon opened his mouth to offer some kind of retort, but he was cut off by a knock at the door. "It's open!" Leonard called.

The door opened and in walked Penny, her hair pinned back and wearing the red dress. Leonard smiled and met her halfway. "Hey," She said.

"Hey," He repeated, leaning in to kiss her quickly.

Amy walked in a moment behind. She looked very uncomfortable in the high heels Penny had put her in, but no one was focusing on how she walked. Amy had her hair up and a little bit of blush (applied by Penny, naturally) was streaked across her cheeks. She wore was draped black dress borrowed from the waitress that cut off at the knee and it was a welcome change from her usual skirts and sweaters.

"Wow, Amy," Leonard gushed. "You look great,"

Amy let out a sigh of relief. "Oh don't ogle Leonard, you have a girlfriend," She winked at Penny, who laughed.

Sheldon squirmed in his seat a little. He didn't know what to make of done up Amy, so far from the scientific, smart woman he knew. What he really liked about Amy was that she didn't wear a lot of makeup or low cut dresses, but there was a part of him that found something…_interesting_, you could say, in this side of her."You look…nice, Amy,"

His girlfriend smiled at him, sensing that he was a little confused. She chose to ignore it. "Thank you, Sheldon,"

* * *

"Raj!" Raj stirred, sitting up on his couch as he heard the repeated knocking at his door. He must've fallen asleep. "Raj, we know you're in there! Open up!" Raj got up and made his way over, drowsily opening the door. Howard and Bernadette stood there, and only then did Raj remember their plans for dinner.

"Oh, you guys, I'm so sorry I forgot…"

"It's alright," Bernadette assured him. "We just wanted to make sure you were okay,"

"Can we come in?" Howard asked and Raj nodded. The couple stepped inside and sat down, Raj picking up the empty alcohol bottle that had slipped between the couch cushions as he resituated himself.

"So, what happened?" Bernadette asked him, looking concerned.

Raj sighed. "She rejected me," He said.

Howard frowned and Bernadette went wide-eyed. "You asked her _now_?"

"Yeah,"

Howard shook his head. "Raj, Raj, Raj…talk about bad timing,"

"You all told me to go for it!" Raj said in his defense.

"Yeah, when she wasn't your therapist anymore!" Bernadette replied. "Raj, she's a professional."

Raj considered this and sat back, nodding slowly. "Alright, alright. Well, I'm sorry for bailing on you two. I'll make it up to you. How about next Saturday?"

"Oh, sorry Raj, we can't." Bernadette said.

Howard turned to her. "We can't?"

"We can't," Bernadette affirmed. "That's the day we have plans with my sister, remember?"

"_Oh_," Howard said now, as if this had jogged his memory. "Oh, that's right,"

"You're sister?" Raj said, confused.

Bernadette nodded. "Yeah, my little sister, Addie. She just got her first job in psychology not too far away from here. I've been meaning to meet up with her for weeks but she's always busy with one patient or another…God, I miss her,"

Raj sat up a little straighter. "What did you say her name was?"

"I call her Addie sometimes, but most people just call her by her full name, Adelaide,"

When Bernadette said this, Raj's heart dropped. Adelaide… Bernadette's sister was a psychologist named Adelaide…But there was no way his Adelaide and her Adelaide could be the same person, right? Bernadette's sister's last name would be Rostenkowski, not Snow, there was no way…

"You may not have heard of her because she goes by a different last name, she said Rostenkowski was too 'big and clunky' for a professional," Bernadette continued. "So she goes by Snow, she got the letters from the family name and…"

But Raj was listening anymore. Addie Rostenkowski…Adelaide Snow…they were…the same person? The beautiful therapist he'd fallen in love with was Bernadette's little sister? They didn't look that alike, this had to be a prank, there was no way…But this was really happening.

_Fuck._

* * *

_I normally don't drop F-bombs in my stories but I don't know, here I thought it was realistic to do so. Don't worry, I won't make a habit of it. _

_I had the idea that Raj's love interest in this story would either be his therapist or a relative to one of his friends. So I combined them both. Genius, right? _

_Review? _


	9. The Alcohol Induced Hypnotization

_New chapter time! Yay! Round of applause for me! I really like this chapter; I think it's pretty funny. It doesn't center on the main plot much, but I think this was needed. Enjoy!_

_I really hate writing these disclaimers…you know I don't own, right? _

* * *

**_Chapter Eight: The Alcohol Induced Hypnotization _**

"Ha ha," Penny laughed. "That was such a fun date!"

"Yeah…_fun_," Leonard said. He didn't exactly categorize a date in which Penny and Amy drank too much and Sheldon talked the whole time, only shutting up after Penny convinced him to drink a few glasses of red, as fun. Penny was too drunk to notice his sarcasm.

Leonard lead the waitress up the stairs and he was about to ask her for the key to her apartment when Penny jumped him, wrapping her legs around his waist and kissing him hungrily. Leonard was caught off guard, the wine in his system paired with the sudden embrace made his head spin, but he did not reject her advances. When Penny finally pulled away (their kiss had lasted at least seven Mississippi's) she smirked devilishly, well as devilishly as a drunken person could. "Sheldon's dropping Amy off and taking the bus home…Let's do it in his spot!"

"Do _it_?" Leonard echoed, in disbelief. "In his _spot_?"

Penny nodded. "It'll be super hot,"

God, she was _right_. And it wasn't like Leonard was going to refuse her when she was in the mood…And God, she was so _right_.

It was definitely very challenging for Leonard to open the door behind his back while Penny was kissing the edge of his jaw, but he managed. They stumbled inside, Penny kicking the door closed behind them but not bothering to lock it. Leonard reached out a hand to find the couch and then moved onto the last cushion, so his back was against the arm rest and Penny was on top of him. She giggled into his mouth, something Penny hardly ever did, and pulled her legs up, so her knees were on his shoulders. "Mmmm," Penny laughed, pulling away for a breath. "You taste like grapes,"

Leonard frowned but Penny went back to kissing him before he could comment. _Of course_ he tasted like grapes, Penny had ordered about four bottles for them all (which Sheldon had been forced to pay for, naturally. Penny told him it was customary for the smartest person at the table to pay for the alcohol, which he believed. Leonard and Amy were too relieved they didn't have to buy to be offended). So he simply let his tongue slip past her parted lips and he could feel Penny smile against his face. Her hands reached up to touch his cheeks, while his remained at her hips for a moment before moving up to try and take off the red dress. While it looked amazing on, it was very hard to take off, especially with his eyes closed, and it took Leonard a good minute to pull it down to her waist.

"Promise me you won't propose this time?" Penny said teasingly.

Leonard laughed along with her, uneasily. He knew Penny meant it as a joke and she was drunk but…but there was still something about the way she said it that made him feel bad.

* * *

A half an hour later, Sheldon made it home from Amy's. It had been quite a struggle to put her to bed (Amy had even accidently kneed Sheldon in the groin…which hurt, _a lot_) but he'd finally gotten it done. Sheldon had even been a little sad when he had to leave; he couldn't help but notice that his bed was so much warmer with someone else in it.

Sheldon didn't think he'd be able to make it to his room, all that wine Penny had given him had really made him tired, and so he grabbed a blanket and made himself comfortable on the couch.

He didn't notice the half-naked Leonard and Penny lying on the floor.

* * *

"Oh, God, what time is it?" Penny mumbled as she woke up the next morning. Her back really hurt, how did she end up spending the night on the floor? The red dress was down past her hips and she had no frigging idea where in Hell her panties were. Leonard stirred beside her, soon getting up as well.

The experimental physicist reached a hand up to his head, cringing. "I have a killer hangover," He said.

"What the Hell happened last night?" Penny asked, standing up and pulling her dress back up. She froze, seeing Sheldon lying on the couch, his jacket on the end of the couch and his shirt buttons half undone. "Oh _shit_, not again,"

"What is it?" Leonard asked, standing up. He froze too when he realized what Penny thought they had done. "No _way_,"

"How else are you going to explain the throbbing in between my legs?" Penny snapped, running a hand through her hair. "Shit, shit, shit…"

Suddenly Sheldon let out a small groan in his sleep, and then he moved into a sitting position, waking up slowly. He blinked and rubbed the sleep out of his eyes. "Penny? You're still here? You spent the night?"

Penny looked at Leonard before answering Sheldon. "Yes, sweetie, I did. Umm…how are you feeling?"

Sheldon moaned slightly as he moved. "My groin hurts,"

At that moment, Penny knew this was the stupidest thing she'd ever done. _Ever_. Period. Or well, that she thought she'd done.

"I gotta go," Penny said quickly, grabbing her shoes. She was about to tell Leonard 'if you find my underwear let me know' but decided against it, not wanting to say that in front of Sheldon. Sweet, innocent, annoying as Hell Sheldon, but didn't share Penny's suspicions.

Leonard opened his mouth to call out "See you later" but Penny was out of the door before he could choke it out. He sat down on the arm of the chair while Sheldon got up and went to the bathroom. Leonard spotted the nude lace fabric under the couch and bent down to get it, and once he pulled it up and saw something else: the small ring box that must've fallen out of his jacket pocket. Leonard frantically threw his girlfriend's lingerie over his shoulder, opening the box just to make sure the engagement ring was still in there. And it was, showing no sign of ever having been disturbed.

Leonard sat back, admiring the ring once again. He couldn't think of a better time to propose than the last time he tried, or the time before that or the time before that. Would he ever get it right?

Leonard's thoughts were interrupted by Sheldon's voice from behind him. "Leonard," His roommate said. "Why is there a pair of women's underwear in our blinds?"

* * *

_I'm pretty sure you all know what Penny thought had happened. If you don't…well, I'm not explaining it to you. _


	10. The Sibling Correlation

_For all of you who did not get what Penny thought last chapter, I'm just gonna say this…it is possible to have sexual intercourse with multiple people. That is all, and if you still do not get it then…well, I don't know what else to say. Can I make it any more obvious? _

_And no, the next reviewer does not have to review in Klingon…but that would be AWESOME. I will seriously love you forever if you do it. Bernadette may not have let Sheldon do the wedding ceremony in Klingon, but I will let you review my story in Klingon! The power of Sheldon compels you!_

_…Moving on…_

_Sorry this took forever but I was busy, and then once I was finally ready to write this malware software took over my computer. Ugh. I apologize for keeping you all waiting. _

_Aaaand just read the disclaimers in previous chapters if you need too. Believe me, if I ever owned this show you all would know about it. Can't you just picture the headline now? _

* * *

**_Chapter Nine: The Sibling Correlation _**

"So," Penny said to make conversation, sitting down in the chair with a bottle of water. "That was some date night, right?"

Leonard frowned. "Yeah," He said unenthusiastically. "Some night…"

There was a long awkward silence after that; Leonard and Penny exchanged a look, Amy thought back to see if she could remember anything from that night stood out, naïve Sheldon continued to pick at his food, and Raj looked from one to the other, pondering what they could've happened before finally giving up and going back to the Chinese.

Penny opened her mouth to try again with another topic, but she was cut off when the door opened.

"Hey guys," Howard and Bernadette walked in, their arms wrapped around each others' waists, and smiles on their faces. Besides them, was a girl none of them had ever seen before, except for Raj. Raj knew her all too well. "This is my sister, Adelaide," Bernadette said, gesturing to the little brunette.

Standing beside each other, Raj realized there were more similarities between Bernadette and Adelaide's physical appearances. While Adelaide was an inch or two taller and had brown hair instead of blonde, she had the same eye shape and color, same skin tone and bright smile. Outside of her office, Adelaide was even more beautiful, she didn't wear as much makeup and her hair was pulled down, curled a little at the ends – not unlike Bernadette's. She dressed a lot simpler, opting for a cotton shirt and blue jeans than a jacket and suit pants.

Adelaide surveyed the room, grinning widely. Once she finally met eyes with Raj, her smile faltered for a moment – just a brief moment – but then it bounced back, just a little wider and faker than before. She clasped her hands and glanced away from Raj's gaze. She might've been able to fool everyone else with that plastered on smile, but he didn't buy it. She knew him. She remembered him.

"Let me introduce you," Howard said, gesturing to each one of them as he spoke. "This is Leonard, Penny, Amy, Sheldon, and Raj,"

"It's lovely to finally meet you all. Bernadette has told me so much about all of you," Adelaide said. Raj would've bought this, but Adelaide's tone was a little higher and sweeter than it had been during their therapy sessions, and he knew this meant she was forcing it. Her eyes flickered back to Raj for a fleeting moment, almost as if she was trying to convince herself it was really him, and Raj looked down, embarrassed almost.

"I do wish you had told us you were inviting an extra person, Howard and Bernadette," Sheldon remarked with a hint of typical Sheldon annoyance. "It's just going to be like the pizza all over again-"

Bernadette opened her mouth to snap something about being polite to Sheldon, but Adelaide waved it off. "It's fine," She said. "I have to work tonight anyway." She whipped an iPhone in a geometric printed case out of her bag and quickly entered in her pass code.

"I'll walk you out-" Howard began after a small nudge from Bernadette, but he was cut off.

"No," Raj said before he'd thought it completely through. "I'll do it,"

Bernadette's eyebrows knitted together in confusion. "But-"

"That sounds lovely," Adelaide interjected, casting her older sister a glance. She looked back to Raj and he got up, holding the door open for her as she exited. He closed the door behind them, keeping a foot of space between him and Adelaide.

Once the door was shut, Adelaide spun around to face Raj. "Oh my God," She said, stunned.

Raj didn't know exactly what to say. "Adelaide, I'm so sorry…"

"What are the chances?" Adelaide said in shock, shaking her head. "Oh God…"

"Why didn't you rat me out in there?" Raj asked. "You didn't have to act like you didn't know me, you could've told everyone about what happened with us,"

"And what good would that have done? It's not like it would've changed anything,"

Raj thought about this. "Yeah," He said finally. "You're right,"

"Of course I'm right," Adelaide added teasingly with a smirk. They both laughed uneasily, and then it was silent for a second. "…Can we just try to start over?" Adelaide finally asked. "You seem like a nice guy and…and I'd like to try and be friends. It's not like we can avoid each other, right?"

"Right," Raj affirmed. "Friends…" He swallowed. "Friends it is,"

Adelaide smiled and gave Raj's hand a reassuring squeeze. "I'll see you later Raj," She turned around and started off, pressing another button on her cell phone.

"See you later," Raj said, rather delayed. He watched her take the stairs two at a time on her way down, his skin still tingling from where she'd touched him.


	11. The Repetitive Interludes

_New chapter time! I tried to update quicker this time but well... Good thing I didn't get another virus! _

_Review? _

_I do not own, I do not own, I do not own…_

* * *

**_Chapter Ten: The Repetitive Interludes_**

"Are you nervous?"

Bernadette didn't tear her gaze away from the pregnancy test in her hands as Howard sat down next to her on the bed. "What if it's negative?" She asked.

"Well, then we'll try again," Howard replied calmly. "Bernie, it's only been a month."

Bernadette sighed, glancing at the clock again. She just had to wait a few more seconds and then she'd know. She felt Howard pry one of her hands away from the test and take it in his own, rubbing his finger comfortingly against her wedding band. Bernadette gave him a small smile, glad at least one of them was capable of being patient.

"Alright," Bernadette sighed, watching the time change. "Alright, I'm going to look,"

Howard kissed her hand. "It's going to be fine," He assured her one more time.

Bernadette nodded before flipping the pregnancy test over. It took a moment for the result to register, but once it had, it filled her head, the resounding no practically echoing in her ears. "Not pregnant," She said hollowly, placing the test down on the comforter and scooting closer to her husband.

_Not pregnant. _

Howard wrapped his arms around Bernadette and she reached up a hand to the star necklace that now permanently adorned her neck, holding onto it as if for comfort. The result was repeating over and over in her head, like some kind of mantra, getting louder and louder each time.

_Not pregnant._

_Not pregnant._

She hadn't really expected a positive this time, deep down she'd seen this coming, but it still stung. Bernadette wondered how Howard must've been feeling. He'd wanted this for a Hell of a lot longer than she had.

_Not pregnant._

_Not pregnant._

_Not pregnant._

"Hey," Howard said slowly and softly. "It's going to be okay, sweetie," He tried to hide his disappointment, but wasn't successful.

Bernadette simply burrowed her face a little deeper into his chest.

_Not pregnant._

* * *

Adelaide's phone buzzed for what felt like the millionth time that morning, and she'd only woken up a few hours ago. She put down her brush, only half of her hair was done, and picked it up. It was from her boss. _Can you meet with Mrs. Haskell at nine this morning? Thanks. _Adelaide groaned and typed a quick reply. She might be able to make it, just barely.

As she put down the phone and reached for her hairbrush again, her hand brushed the photos that sat on her bureau. Adelaide had always had a thing for old photos, pictures of when she was a scraggly teenager with an ever changing style and fluorescent braces, hamming it up with her many brothers and sisters. She picked up one of them, a photo of her and Bernadette when they were 10 and 13, respectively, lying down on Adelaide's bed, smiling slightly. Adelaide had always been closest to Bernadette. Honestly, she had raised Adelaide more than her parents. Ever since she was little, her parents were always working so it was just Adelaide, Bernadette, and the rest of their (annoying) siblings.

Neither of their childhoods had been very easy. Adelaide knew her sister had to grow up at an early age, and she'd admired her for that. When she was little she didn't really appreciate what Bernadette did for her, but once she was older she began to understand the childhood her sister had been deprived of.

Smiling a little, Adelaide put the framed picture back down as her phone buzzed again. She didn't have time to reminisce now; she had to get back to work.

* * *

Leonard felt his knee bounce a little bit and he glanced at the clock, which read 7:30. He'd told Penny to come over at 7:00, because he had a surprise for her. He looked up at the candles on the table, which were flickering, the dinner he'd set up now cold. Leonard didn't even know if she was coming anymore. Sadly, he leaned forward to blow out the candles.

"Hey! Baby, I'm so sorry I'm late!" The door hit the wall so hard it bounced. Penny cringed, lifting a hand to her mouth in embarrassment. Leonard couldn't tell if it was because she was late or had slammed the door with such force. Penny obviously had just come from work, she was still in her uniform, only a sweatshirt over it, and her blonde hair was pulled back sloppily, half of it falling out. She smiled as she walked over and kissed Leonard on the cheek, then sat down next to him. "I really am sorry," Penny repeated, interlacing her fingers with Leonard's. "But I have a good excuse. You're going to be _so_ excited,"

"Shoot," Leonard said half-heartedly. Penny didn't notice his lack of enthusiasm, she was too happy.

"Alright, so I was waiting tables, right? And then my friend Cheryl – you know Cheryl right? Short blonde hair, she's really –"

"Yes, yes I remember Cheryl," Leonard interrupted her. "So, what happened next?"

"So, Cheryl asks me to take a table for her, right? Because there was this guy in her sector who was super high maintenance and she had to take care of it. So I said sure and I go over –"

They were interrupted by the sounds of footsteps, and then a key jingling in the lock. "I have to say Sheldon," came the voice of a certain neurobiologist from the other side of the door. "You were right, it was quite enjoyable to go to the museum and point out all the inaccuries of their latest-"

There was a 'shush' - obviously from the physicist in question – and for a moment there was nothing at all. "…The door isn't locked,"

Leonard shook his head, mentally cursing himself because he knew he was about to feel the wrath of Dr. Sheldon Cooper, as the door slammed open, again bouncing off the wall. Sheldon and Amy both jumped a little, surprised by how hard the door had hit. Sheldon turned to his roommate and neighbor, who were looking back at him, waiting for a lecture. "How could you be so irresponsible?"

"I know, I know, I should've locked the door, but everything is fine –"

"Everything is not fine!" Sheldon cut Leonard off. "Some burglar could've waltzed right in and stolen all of our comic books!"

"I don't think anyone would've stolen your toys, sweetie," Penny interjected. "Plus, Leonard would've been there,"

Sheldon reached a hand up to his heart, as if he was feigning hurt, but it was obvious he was not faking. "First off, they are not toys! They are mint condition comic books!" He snapped. "And second, do you honestly think Leonard could fend off an intruder?"

Penny smirked and looked at Leonard. "Well…" Sheldon was visibly confused, but then he simply moved on, turning on his computer. "Ummm, Sheldon?"

"What?" Sheldon asked, looking back over his shoulder.

"Sheldon," Amy said, having been oddly quiet during the exchange. "They are obviously having a date night and would like to be left alone.

Sheldon's eyes shifted from Leonard and Penny to Amy and then back to the former. "So? This is my apartment as well, my name is on the deed, if I don't want to leave I don't have to," He turned back to his laptop, entering the password at lightning fast pace.

Leonard and Penny turned back to Amy, pleading looks on their faces. Amy sighed. "I'll make you spaghetti and hot dogs if you come back to my apartment with me,"

Sheldon froze. "…Can I bring my computer?"

Amy nodded and Sheldon quickly unplugged his computer, grabbing it and the charger. Amy smirked and propped the door open, Sheldon walking out. "Too easy," She mouthed to Leonard and Penny, before following him. Leonard made sure to lock the door behind her.

"Okay," He said, settling back down on the couch. "Now, what were you saying?"

"So, I go to serve this guy in Cheryl's sector…"

"The difficult one?"

"No, not the difficult one, a different one," Penny said. "He was this really attractive guy actually, unlike the difficult one, late thirties I guess -" She saw Leonard's expression falter a little here and quickly swooped in to do some damage control. "Oh, an ugly guy! Really, really ugly guy…" She giggled and Leonard's smile returned. "So, I talk to him while I bring him his drink, and he tells me that I'm as beautiful as the early morning sun – "

"Beautiful as the early morning sun?" Leonard repeated, incredulous.

"What, you don't think I'm worthy of the compliment?"

"No, that's not what I'm saying at all Love Bug," Leonard insisted, patting her knee. "It's just, did a guy you just met seriously call you that?"

Penny frowned. "Okay, so maybe those weren't his exact words…Don't smirk!" Leonard raised a hand to his face and then Penny continued. "But the point is he asks me if I'm an actress, and I say yeah. And guess what? He's a writer, looking for the lead in his next movie, and he thinks I might have what it takes! Leonard, he wants me to come read for the part!"

"Really?" Leonard said, happily surprised. "Baby, I'm so proud of you!" He hugged her and she laughed, still kind of shocked herself.

"Let's go celebrate!" Penny declared, standing up. "Since I let your lovely dinner get cold, I will take my man out for a warm meal, and I'm buying. Just let me go change,"

Leonard smiled as Penny got up and went across the hall to put on a nicer dress. He stuffed his hand into his pocket, fingering the velvet lid. Perhaps his chance was here after all.

* * *

_This chapter took a hell of a lot of time to write. So I hope you enjoyed it. Any and all reviews would be appreciated. _


	12. The Lonely Regularity

_My goal was to get this up before the new Big Bang, so mission accomplished! Also, what did you guys think of the season premiere? _

_Surprise, surprise, I don't own anything. (And yes I have to put disclaimers in every chapter.)_

* * *

**_Chapter Eleven: The Lonely Regularity_**

Adelaide had had a tough day at work. Her boss had really overworked her today, and now Adelaide felt like she couldn't stand up for much longer. She needed to talk to her sister now; her and Bernadette had always talked to each other when they'd had a bad day. Even when they couldn't talk in person, they'd call or Skype. It was practically a tradition. Adelaide walked up the stairs to her sister and Howard's apartment, moving in a slower pace than usual since she was so exhausted.

"They're not up there, just so you know,"

Adelaide looked up, Raj was a few steps ahead of her, on his way down. They met halfway and Adelaide gave him a sad half-smile. "Did you have a bad day too?"

Raj shrugged as Adelaide turned around, following him back down. "It was fine, I'm just kind of lonesome," He admitted. "Everyone's in a relationship except for me, Howard has Bernadette, Leonard has Penny, even Sheldon has Amy. And then there's me, lonely old me."

Adelaide frowned, feeling a burst of sympathy for him. "Awww, you poor thing,"

"It's okay,"

"No, it's not," Adelaide said, blocking Raj's path so he'd have to stop and look at her. "Sometimes I feel a little alone too," She gushed, rubbing the back of her neck. Her brown hair was pulled up in a bun today, Raj noted, so he could see her French tipped fingernails run up and down her bare skin. "It's just I'm always so focused on work, I've never really had time for a boyfriend. I'd say Bernadette was the same way for a little while, but I don't think she really ever was. Bernadette was always more open to it I guess, more willing to love. I suppose you could say I'm more cynical. I've had my heart broken a lot more than she has."

"I have too, so you're not alone," Raj said, the two of them continuing their descent. Adelaide stood a little closer to him – unintentionally of course – so their shoulders brushed with every step. She didn't pull away, and neither did he. "When Howard and I were both single, we both got dumped plenty of times. But for him, I think it was more about hooking up, he didn't really, truly fall in love until Bernadette. She changed him. With me, I fell in love too easily. Every girl I really got to know, I fell hard for. And so the rejection was a lot more difficult to cope with," He looked over to Adelaide, who was considering this, her lips pursed in thought.

"Thank you for telling me that Raj," She said finally. They were at the bottom of the stairs now and Raj held open the door for her. Adelaide stepped out and Raj followed. She stopped again, the corners of her lips turning up into a smile. "I'd love to pick your brain some more sometime. I am a psychologist after all, it's what I do best,"

"Well, since we both have nothing to do, why don't you came over?" Raj saw Adelaide give him a look and he quickly clarified: "It's not a date."

Adelaide nodded. "Yeah, definitely not a date,"

"We could just hang out at my apartment, get some food, watch some TV, drink some beer," The astrophysicist continued. "I think we both deserve it. Plus, you can get into my head a little more,"

"Okay," Adelaide said, digging in her pocket for her keys. "Just give me your address and I'll meet you there,"

* * *

"This is a nice place," Leonard said, looking around the restaurant Penny had picked. It wasn't what he had pictured in his head; white tablecloths, cloth napkins, the whole shebang.

"Why would I take my man to a celebratory dinner at a bad place?" Penny posed the question with a playful raise of her eyebrow. Leonard paused to think about this – even though Penny really didn't need an answer – while his girlfriend gave her name to the maitre d.

"Right this way," The man said, leading Leonard and Penny to a table in the back. They sat down and took the menus offered to them. This was definitely not typical Penny, and Leonard knew this meant she was definitely excited about this audition.

He thought then again of the ring and his many failed attempts to propose. Of course he wanted to marry Penny, more than anything. But maybe tonight he should just focus on how happy she clearly was. This was a big deal for her, Penny had been trying to make it as an actress for years and this just might be her first real break. He couldn't upstage her like that.

"Do you think I'll get it?" Penny asked abruptly, peeking over her menu.

Leonard smiled. "I know you will,"

* * *

Raj kicked the empty pizza box and beer cans with his foot, sending them skittering off the coffee table and onto the floor with a small _thunk_. Next to him on the couch, Adelaide shifted, pulling one of the pillows up to her chest. She had her hair down now, the long brown strands falling past her shoulders, and the top few buttons on her shirt were undone, making her look a lot less uptight. One of her French tips had fallen off, but Raj didn't point that out to her.

Raj smiled to himself, turning his eyes back to the TV screen. He felt Adelaide slump a little, her head resting on the edge of his shoulder. "Tired?" He asked, seeing her blink.

"Mmhm," Adelaide nodded. "I should probably go home and get some sleep…"

"No," Raj interjected and Adelaide was obviously confused. "It's late and you're kind of drunk. I don't want you driving home," He explained and Adelaide's face softened at his concern. "You can sleep on the couch tonight. That's what friends do for each other, right? Let them crash on each others' couches?"

"_Friends_," Adelaide repeated, a smile breaking out on her face. "Rajesh Koothrappali is my friend," She laughed lightly, not in a mean way, just as if the words sounded odd coming out of her mouth. "That feels weird to say,"

Raj laughed along, getting up from the couch and turning off the TV. He never thought Adelaide would even acknowledge his existence after their last therapy session, let alone call him her friend.

"Goodnight, Raj," The brunette mumbled, curling up into a ball.

He smiled. "Night, Adelaide."


	13. The Stairwell Exchange

_I've been working on sporadically throughout my weekend, so I hope you like it. I wanted to update as soon as possible for you guys. This was originally going to be only the first part of a chapter, but in the end it was over 1,000 words by itself, so I decided to just post it by itself. This chapter centers on Bernadette/Penny/Amy. I really like their friendship, so I'm happy. _

_I do not own The Big Bang Theory and I am receiving no compensation from this fic. Unless you count reviews. Which I'd love to get. You know, if you don't mind._

* * *

**_Chapter Twelve: The Stairwell Exchange_**

A week passed, and Bernadette was scheduled to take another pregnancy test that Friday. She had marked it on the calendar with a big 'x' written in red ink, and whenever she passed it she always stopped for a moment, just wondering if the cells had started changing inside her womb. She tried not to get her hopes up – because that never ended well – but sometimes she indulged in thoughts of _I could be pregnant_, and they were somewhat comforting.

On Friday, Bernadette picked up a few tests from the drug store after work on her way to 4A. She texted Howard - letting him know that plans to take it were still on – and then pulled out of the CVS parking lot, driving towards 2311 North Los Robles.

Once there, Bernadette took the stairs two at a time on her way up. She knew Sheldon was very particular about Chinese food and Vintage Game Night starting exactly on time and she didn't want to be late.

"Hey, Bernadette,"

Halfway up the stairs, Bernadette heard a familiar voice, and smiled slightly when she saw Amy and Penny not too far behind her. The microbiologist paused so the neuroscientist and waitress could catch up with her. "Hey," She said.

"We ran into each other in the lobby," Penny explained, shifting her mail in her hands and beginning to thumb through it. _Junk mail, junk mail, bills, junk mail_…She paused, reaching the thick envelope she'd been hoping for. That director she had met the other week had told her that he'd be sending her a portion of the script to audition with when he got the chance, and Penny had been beginning to get worried that it wouldn't come. But when she'd gotten her mail today, it was there and Penny had nearly jumped up and down in excitement – she hadn't though, thank God.

"What's that?" Bernadette and Amy asked nearly at the same time. Penny realized than she had started walking a little slower and that her friends were already almost to the third floor.

"Oh, sorry," Penny said, waving her hand dismissively. "It's no big deal, just something I got in the mail."

"From the way you were staring at it, it didn't seem like no big deal," Amy retorted.

"Well…will you guys promise not to freak out?"

"You're not cheating on Leonard, are you?" Bernadette asked worriedly.

"No!" Penny insisted quickly. "No, of course not! It's just…I met this guy…"

"Oh my God, Penny…"

"No, it's not what you think!" The waitress interjected. "Just let me finish, okay?"The two other women nodded and Penny continued. "The guy was a director and he seemed to really like me. He wants me to audition for his movie."

"Really?"

"Awww, bestie, that's great!"

"It's just an independent movie," Penny said, looking back down at the package. "But it's still a job and seems like it would pay decent so…I'm pretty excited. Leonard thinks I'll get it so I'm hopeful,"

"You will," Amy said, trying to be encouraging. "Corn fed looks, flawless skin, immense talent that just radiates from you…trust me, you'll get it, and if you don't they must have a very low IQ."

Penny bit her lip, smiling, and then continued to ascend the stairs with her friends. "Thanks, Ames."

As Penny and Amy talked about the movie, Bernadette realized she was still holding her pharmacy bag. She tried to discreetly slip it into her purse, and was about to do so successfully, when –

"CVS? Why do you have a CVS bag?"

Bernadette felt her face suddenly grow hot and she looked away. "No reason,"

"It's probably just tampons or something," Penny told Amy. "No big deal, I doubt she wants to talk about it."

"No big deal?" Amy repeated. "I think our mensies are beginning to sync! Maybe by next month we can be The Three Menstruaters –"

Penny opened her mouth to say something, but Bernadette cut her off. "They're not tampons, Amy," While Bernadette thought this would end the conversation and they could simply walk the rest of the way to 4A in silence, but instead Penny and Amy looked back at her.

"Then what are you hiding? Are you sick?" The former asked in concern.

"I'm not sick," Bernadette affirmed. "And I'm not going to need tampons for a while, hopefully," After she said this, Bernadette mentally face palmed. How could she be stupid enough to say that?

"I thought you said you weren't pregnant!?" Penny half asked, half stated, the corners of her lips beginning to turn up into a smile.

Bernadette sighed. "I'm not but, if things go well, I might be soon,"

"Awww!" Penny and Amy said simultaneously. "Bestie, we're going to be aunties!" The latter cried excitedly, throwing her arms around the former and catching her off guard.

"Ames," Penny said slowly. "There is no 'we', okay?"

Amy pulled away, momentarily saddened by the response. "Sorry,"

"So," Penny turned to Bernadette, trying to change the subject. "I thought you didn't want kids, what changed?"

"Well, umm, it's a long story…" Bernadette said.

"We can walk slow," Amy suggested and Penny nodded in agreement.

"Okay," Bernadette sighed and the other two immediately slowed down their pace. "After Howard came back from space, I realized I was late, and figured I might be pregnant. But, it turns out, I wasn't after all. When you asked me if I was pregnant that day you and Leonard saw that baby in the lobby, I realized there was…_something_ about that fact that upset me. It hit me harder than I thought it would." The besties shared a look. "What's that?"

"Hmmm?" Amy said, pretending to be clueless.

"We have no idea what you're talking about," Penny added.

Bernadette simply laughed.


	14. The Whiteboard Analysis

_I know I promised some of you a new chapter by Monday, but then I got sick, so this chapter is a little delayed. I apologize, but hey, at least it's here now. Enjoy! Oh, and thanks for all your lovely reviews. _

_These disclaimers are depressing._

* * *

**_Chapter Thirteen: The Whiteboard Analysis_**

"You look awfully happy today,"

Howard looked over his shoulder as he worked on setting up the gaming system, smiling slightly. Of course he was happy, this could be it! "Well, I am," He told Leonard – the one who had made the comment.

"Someone's getting laid tonight!" Raj whispered just a little too loudly to Leonard and both of them held back a laugh.

"Ha ha, very funny," Howard said.

"Was that sarcasm?" Sheldon asked.

"Yes, genius,"

"Alright!" Sheldon said, proud of himself. "I'm 12 for 42 this month!"

"Seriously though," Howard said, ignoring the theoretical physicist. "Do you guys want to know?"

"Sure," Raj said at the same time Leonard said "Okay," and Sheldon said "Do I look like I care?"

Howard cast look at Sheldon before continuing. "Remember when I told you that Bernadette didn't want to have kids?"

"Yeah," Raj said at the same time Leonard said "Uh huh," and Sheldon said "Of course I do, I have an eidetic memory."

"Well," Howard continued. "Some stuff has gone down lately and she…she changed her mind, and we're trying to get pregnant."

"Congratulations!" Raj said at the same time Leonard said "Oh my God!" and Sheldon said "Oh no, you can't bring your progeny here."

"Why not?"

Sheldon shook his head. "As I have said before, babies are loud. They cry, they eat, they sleep, they poop, it's all they do. I will not allow one to disturb the peace!"

"Okay, so let me get this straight," Leonard said, leaning forward while Howard joined them on the couch. "You were considering making babies with Amy via test tube only months after you met her, but if Howard and Bernadette have a baby they can't bring him or her along when they come over? I'm sensing a double standard here."

"Leonard, if Amy and I were to procreate, our child would be extremely gifted. Just think about what our minds could achieve if they were combined in the form of an infant. He or she would have the best genetics, Leonard! It isn't a double standard, it's a fact!"

Leonard simply rolled his eyes, picking up a controller.

* * *

When Bernadette, Penny and Amy entered 4A, the guys were already halfway through their first round of vintage games. When they saw the women entered they were immediately distracted from their game – well, Howard, Leonard and Raj were – and they paused it. Sheldon was clearly not happy with being interrupted, but for once he didn't say anything as Amy moved to sit on the arm of his chair.

"Hey," Penny said, sitting next to Leonard and throwing her legs across his lap. "Guess what I got in the mail today?" She ran her fingers up and down his chest, smiling widely from the excitement that was threatening to boil over.

Leonard thought about this for a second before he realized what she was talking about. "Oh my God, they sent you the script?" Penny nodded and Leonard kissed her cheek. "That's awesome! You're totally going to get the part!"Penny grinned and turned her face so that their lips met, tossing her arms around his neck.

"Hey you," Howard said to Bernadette as she sat down next to him, and they kissed.

"Umm, just so you know," Bernadette whispered when they pulled apart. "I kind of told the girls we were trying,"

"Really? I just told the guys,"

"Really?"

They looked over to their friends, who were sitting in awkward silence, clearly not knowing what to say since they all thought they were supposed to be keeping their mouths shut. Penny crossed her legs, and then uncrossed them again. Raj shifted in his seat. Sheldon gave Amy his koala smile.

"Alright guys," Bernadette said. "You can talk about it, everyone knows."

There was a collective sigh of relief.

"Isn't this so exciting?"

"Oh, thank Cow! I don't think I could've kept that in any longer!"

"We're so happy for you guys!"

"You are not bringing the child here!"

"Can't you just imagine a tiny little Howard and Bernadette? Like, really tiny?"

"Well, like I said, Bernadette's not actually pregnant yet," Howard said, reaching for his wife's hand.

"But, hopefully soon we'll have a little Wolowitz on the way!" Bernadette finished for him.

"We could actually calculate the likelihood of you being pregnant," Amy said to Bernadette before turning to Leonard. "Can I borrow your board?" When he nodded, Amy got up and walked over to the whiteboard, erasing the faint remains of equations and then uncapping a green Expo marker. "So, Bernadette, when was the date of your last menstrual cycle?"

The microbiologist frowned. "Excuse me?"

"No one cares!" Amy said dismissively. "Sheldon has Penny's written on the calendar!"

"What?" shrieked the blonde waitress. "What the Hell, Sheldon?"

Sheldon looked down. "And it's very accurate, seeing as my calendar dictates she would be getting very cranky in the next few days…"

Penny snorted and glared at him before burrowing her face into Leonard's shoulder.

"Bernadette?" Amy repeated, one eyebrow raised.

The microbiologist in question huffed. "The 14th,"

Amy wrote this down on the board. "Now, since your last cycle, how many times have you and Howard had unprotected intercourse?"

"Amy!"


	15. The Sleeping Position Constant

_I know this took like, forever, but I started writing an original story and that took up most of my time. Plus I totally changed what was going to happen in this chapter at the very last minute. My apologies, faithful readers._

_I'm going to do a play on Sheldon's knock for Penny from one of the episodes (forget which episode it was though, sorry) for this disclaimer. WHAT DO I OWN? *knock knock knock* Nothing. WHAT DO I OWN? *knock knock knock* Nothing. WHAT DO I OWN? *knock knock knock* Nothing. _

_That made a lot more sense in my head…oh well. _

* * *

**_Chapter Fourteen: The Sleeping Position Constant_**

Howard crossed one of his legs over the other, then reserved legs, then planted both feet on the ground – well, as close to the ground as he could – then leaned forward and rested his lower arms on his upper legs, hands on his knees, before moving back to the first position. He had an excuse to be fidgety of course – waiting for his wife to emerge from the bathroom with the pee stick that would tell them if their hopes and dreams were coming true and all.

Alright, Howard had to admit that sounded a little weird, now that he thought about it…

Bernadette entered their bedroom after about a minute or so, the pregnancy test screen covered by her thumb, and sat down next to Howard, leaning against him.

"No matter what it says, I love you," Howard told her, tipping her face up to kiss him.

"Love you too," Bernadette said, kissing him back.

For a moment, they just sat in silence, Bernadette moving her head to rest on Howard's shoulder, Howard wrapping his arm around her. After another minute, Howard finally asked: "Do you want to look at it now?"

Bernadette sighed. "It's about that time, isn't it? Alright, alright, I'll look…"

"No matter what," Howard reminded her gently and she smiled.

Bernadette moved her thumb away very slowly and Howard waited for her to say something. She just stared at it for a second, as if making sure she'd read it right. Finally, Bernadette lowered the test and looked at Howard sadly. "Not this time…"

"Hey it's okay," Howard told her. "It's only been a little over a month. Sometimes these things take time. Sooner or later, it will happen,"

Bernadette smiled and kissed his nose. "I love how optimistic you're being,"

"I love you,"

She smiled a little wider. "Spoon me?"

"Course," Howard replied, lying down on the bed and making room for Bernadette to crawl into his arms. Bernadette laid down in front of him, so her head was on his chest and their bodies were touching. Howard's arms were still around her and he knew he wouldn't be able to feel them in the morning, but he didn't care. They fell asleep just like that.

* * *

Sheldon opened his eyes as the morning light began to enter his room. _What a wonderful dream_, he thought to himself, rolling over and stretching. Sheldon hadn't slept that well in a long time. He smiled at the beautiful, sleeping neurobiologist lying next to him, her chest slowly rising and falling with every breath she took. She was so peaceful when she was asleep – you know, except for the night terrors. Sheldon was glad she was there; his bed was so much warmer with the second person. He leaned over and his lips grazed her cheek. She smelled good, like her dandruff shampoo. "Good morning,"

Her eyes fluttered open and at the sight of him, she smiled. She opened her mouth to speak. "Sheldon, Sheldon wake up!"

But that wasn't Amy's voice. That was…_Leonard_?

"Sheldon, Sheldon! Wake up!"

Sheldon opened his eyes, blinking rapidly. It wasn't morning, and no one was next to him in bed. Outside it was dark, it couldn't be past four am, and Sheldon was alone, lying in his usual position, his bed its usual temperature, the noise canceling headphones he wore when Penny spent the night on. He looked over, and no one was there next to him. He looked up, and there was Leonard, shaking him.

"Leonard, what are you doing?" Sheldon asked groggily.

"I think you were having a bad dream," Leonard explained. Sheldon saw his roommate had clearly been awoken, as he was in nothing but a shirt, boxer shorts and socks, his glasses not on, and his hair mused. He looked tired, very, very tired. Oddly, Sheldon was wide awake now.

"You were mumbling something in your sleep," Leonard continued. "I thought you might be having a nightmare. Do you want me to have Penny sing Soft Kitty to you because she woke up when I got out of bed –"

It was a dream, Sheldon thought to himself, sitting up straight. "Soft Kitty is for when I'm sick, Leonard," Sheldon said. "I'm not sick. There's nothing to fret about. Go back to bed,"

* * *

_This was short(er), but I seriously wrote it in a half an hour – quietly might I add, so I didn't disturb my roommate – so it's not too shabby._

_I got some ideas for the upcoming storylines from the shamyconfessions Tumblr. If something sounds vaguely familiar and you frequently read that blog, that's probably why. _

_Let me just warn you now that this is not going to be a happy fic all the way through. All characters and couples will experience good times and bad and there will be bursts of angst. If you just want a fluffy story, this one ain't for you! Really, what drives me crazy about baby fics is that the couple gets pregnant right away, and that isn't how it is in real life. _

_So what I'm saying is that the ball's rolling, and it's gonna lead to angst. Don't say I didn't warn you. _


	16. The Jedi Reference

_Again, sorry this took longer than I would've liked. Personal life got in the way this time – I'll be fine though, don't worry. Plus I got writer's block, and writer's block is a bitch – all of you who have had it know that. _

_Yeah, don't own anything…_

* * *

**_Chapter Fifteen: The Jedi Reference_**

"Jacob," Penny said dramatically, glancing at Leonard and placing one hand on her heart, walking in a diagonal across the room. "There's something I have to tell you,"

"Oh, what is it Lily?" Leonard said half-heartedly, squinting at the copy of the script Penny had given him when she asked him to rehearse for her audition with her.

"I'm a spy, Jacob," Penny said with mock passion, raising a clenched hand in the air. "I love you, but I cannot endanger you anymore. I'm leaving for Prague this afternoon, and I'm never coming back,"

"I love you too," Leonard read, glancing up at his girlfriend, who was clearly in her element. "At least I'll have the memories of our night of torrid love making." He paused, cocking his head to the side, and put the script down quickly. "I think we've done enough rehearsing for the day. You were great, you are totally going to get the part, I love you." Leonard was glad Penny was happy, but this movie seemed _weird_, like weird with a capital W.

"Thanks honey. You were pretty good yourself," Penny said, sitting next to Leonard on the couch and kissing him on the cheek, her hands on his face. "Maybe you were an actor in a past life,"

"Oh, so you believe in past lives too?"

"Shut up," She kissed him again, on his jaw line. "Shut up and kiss me,"

"Isn't that an Orianthi song?" Leonard asked, finding Penny's lips.

"It is!" Penny said excitedly. "You're doing so well, young Jedi!"

"Did you actually just make a _Star Wars_ reference?"

Penny paused, and then snorted. "Huh, I guess I did!"

"And that's why I love you,"

Penny didn't reply, she simply kissed him again.

* * *

Adelaide finally joined them again the next Friday. Raj was so relieved, because he hadn't seen her in what felt like forever, and he'd really missed having her around. It was nice having someone to talk to. Raj even got to show her how to use the video game controlling, which meant he spent most of the night holding her hand. And it felt good.

At nine or so, Adelaide said she was going home because she'd had a long week at work, and so Raj made up a flimsy excuse as to why he had to leave too. He didn't think Adelaide really bought it, but everyone else did and she chose not to comment on it. They left together. This was Raj's chance. This was the chance he'd been waiting for.

"So," Raj said uneasily. "Sheldon, Leonard, Penny, Amy and I are going out tomorrow night-"

"Howard and my sister aren't going with you?" Adelaide asked, incredulous.

"Yeah," Raj replied. "They're probably going to be working on their baby making, as usual-"

"Baby making?"

Raj paused. "Uh, yeah. They've been trying for almost two months now,"

Adelaide frowned, but then shook her head, her smile returning. "Oh, yeah, of course. Continue,"

Raj had a feeling he'd told Adelaide something she didn't know – whoops – but he just kept talking like she'd asked. "And well, since I'm pretty sure Leonard and Penny will either be making out the entire time or sitting there in awkward silence – it really depends on their mood – and Sheldon and Amy will most likely be having a heated discussion about whether neurobiology trumps physics –"

"Which it totally does," Adelaide interjected. "But, go on,"

Raj rolled his eyes playfully. "You're just saying that because you're a psychologist!"

Adelaide smiled in a way that obviously meant Raj was right. "Maybe," She conceded.

"So, I was wondering if you wanted to come along. We could hang out while the other couples are being all…weird," Raj mentally face palmed after he said that. He'd said "other couples" – which was pretty much implying he thought Adelaide and him were a couple. Oh God, she probably was so freaked out…

Thank Cow; Adelaide actually didn't seem to notice. "Aren't they weird all the time?"

Raj laughed, not just because what Adelaide was said was funny, but because he was relieved she hadn't picked up on his blunder. "Well, weirder than usual,"

Adelaide joined in as they walked down the stairs, snickering in an endearing way. "Well, I have to warn you, I'm a cheap drunk."

"I'm not going to take advantage of you, Adelaide."

"Who said you were going to take advantage of me?" Adelaide retorted. "I'm worried _I'm_ going to take advantage of _you_,"

Raj found Adelaide being a promiscuous drunk hard to picture – the one time he'd gotten her tipsy she'd simply crashed on his couch. But then again, that had been a lot more than serious, sober Adelaide would do. "Well," He simply said teasingly. "I guess we shall see who is taking advantage of whom by the end of the night,"

"I suppose so," Adelaide said as they reached the bottom of the stairs. Raj held open the door for her and she stepped out, rummaging through her bag for her keys. "And I look forward to waving it in your face when my hypothesis is proven correct."

"God, you sound like Amy!"

Adelaide paused and thought about this for a second before laughing. "Crap, you guys are wearing off on me!"

* * *

_Suggestions to help with my writer's block are always appreciated! And reviews too. Reviews help a lot. _


	17. The Couple Catalyst

_I'd say my writer's block is gone, but that's not necessarily true – I just got an idea for the next couple chapters. I got inspired and so hopefully the next few updates will be rather quick. _

_Just nine reviews away from a hundred, guys! Come on, we can do it! No pressure or anything…but it would be nice, I'm not gonna lie. _

_I'm kind of running out of ways to say "I don't own anything"…_

* * *

**_Chapter Sixteen: The Couple Catalyst _**

Raj's prediction for the night had actually been extremely accurate – Leonard and Penny were making out, their legs intertwined, Leonard's hand tangled in Penny's hair, while Sheldon and Amy were arguing playfully back and forth, challenging each others' theories. That left just him and Adelaide.

"You look beautiful tonight, Adelaide," Raj admitted. He meant it, too – her hair was back in a half-knot and she was wearing a black and white printed dress that made her look an awful lot like Bernadette.

Adelaide smiled – a little too widely, which made Raj think she'd had one too many. "Awww, thank you, Raj. You don't look so bad yourself," She leaned into him, batting her eyelashes either from the alcohol, or because she was flirting with him. Raj was practically praying it was the latter.

_Oh, voice do not fail me now, _Raj thought, taking a big sip of his grasshopper.

* * *

When Howard entered their bedroom, he was surprised to find Bernadette sitting crossed legged on the edge of the bed, her head propped up on her hand, looking sad. "Everything okay?" He asked, sitting down next to her. He felt like he already knew the answer.

"I took another test today," Bernadette said glumly, not looking up at Howard. "I just…I feel like a failure, or something,"

"Bernie," Howard said, tilting her chin up so she had to look at him. "You could never fail me,"

"I just didn't think it would take that long," Bernadette murmured, blinking as if she was trying not to cry. "I thought once we decided to have a baby, we'd have a baby. It's been almost two months and nothing has changed – minus the protection," She began to trace circles on her knee absentmindedly.

"Don't blame yourself," Howard told her, kissing her cheek chastely. "For some people, it just takes a little while longer – if we're meant to have a baby, we'll have one,"

"But," Bernadette said sadly. "What if we're not? What if we can't get pregnant or something?"

"Then, it can be just you and me forever – that's what you always wanted, right?"

Bernadette mumbled something under her breath – Howard thought it was along the lines of "not anymore". He felt so bad – watching her like this. Sometimes it made him wish none of this had ever happened at all.

* * *

"Do you want to come in for a nightcap?" Those were the words that landed Raj sitting in Adelaide's kitchen around midnight, while the tipsy brunette worked on pouring them two glasses of on the rocks Irish cream.

"Cheers," Adelaide said, sliding into the seat next to him. She handed one of the cups to Raj, clinking hers against it.

"Cheers," Raj repeated, lifting his glass to his lips as Adelaide did so. He took a sip – it was good, but strong. Adelaide had added a little too much whiskey to it for his liking – then again, she was pretty damn drunk. Raj wasn't sober either, by any means – the room was a little too bright, the lights blurring in his vision – but he had a feeling she was much worse than that. A little stumble in her step, a slumped position, messy drinking – all signs that pointed to a very intoxicated Adelaide Rostenkowski.

"Raj," Adelaide said randomly. "How do you feel about me?"

_So, so drunk_…

"Raj?"

"I like you a lot," Raj answered finally, smiling at her and taking another sip of his nightcap – screw the strength, he needed it.

"I like you too," Adelaide confessed, biting her lip in such a charming way. Then again, everything she did was charming to Raj. "I guess I just didn't want to admit it,"

Those were the words that landed Raj with his lips crushed against Adelaide's. He didn't know who initiated it – they leaned forward at the same time, really – all Raj knew was he definitely felt like the room was spinning as they kissed. He felt intoxicated, dizzy – in a good way. Adelaide smirked against his lips and Raj ran his hands through her hair, which hung loose. How was this happening?

When they pulled apart, Raj just stared at her for a second – her cheeks flushed, her teeth still biting down on her lower lip – and Raj took a moment to think about how beautiful she was. He was terrified he would be incapable of speech now, after that kiss. Finally, he said: "I…I…that was amazing,"

_That was amazing_? Raj wished he had said something more profound – something deeper or more romantic, something that not even alcohol could make Adelaide forget – but it seemed to satisfy her as she attacked him with her lips, kissing him hungrily. Maybe it was just the liquor talking, but there was something in her passion that Raj thought was more than intoxication.

"I'm sorry," Adelaide said, pulling away for a moment to utter out the words and take a breath before running her hands up and down Raj's chest. She tugged on the end of his shirt and Raj grabbed her hands, holding them in his so Adelaide wouldn't be able to do anything she might regret – at least until he knew she was in her right mind.

"Why?" Raj asked. For a second, he was worried she was going to say this was a mistake, that she couldn't lead him on, and he had to leave.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you how I felt," Adelaide told him, trying to pull her hands away. Raj didn't let her, knowing she'd try to touch him again.

"You were worried about your job," Raj said. "I would've been too,"

"I really like you too," Adelaide confessed, tracing patterns on Raj's palm with the limited mobility of her fingers she had. "I just never let myself admit it. God, I'm such a –"

"Don't you dare even finish that sentence," Raj threatened playfully, earning a smile from Adelaide. She kissed the end of his nose, sweetly and demurely in a typical Adelaide fashion.

"Please," Adelaide murmured softly, looking down at her hands. Raj grinned almost wickedly and let go. That was what landed them on Adelaide's bed, curled up together until they both fell asleep.

* * *

_Review? You know, if you don't mind. _

_And before you ask - Raj and Adelaide don't do anything more than make out. Okay? Okay. Anything more than that would've been waaaaaay too soon. _


	18. The Missionary Hypothesis

_I really, really hope no one sees my search history after this chapter. Or they're going to think something's up._

_Oh, and I believe this fic just passed 20K last chapter. Yay me. I feel so accomplished, LOL. _

_I own nothing. Well, I own some things, just not The Big Bang Theory. _

_Warnings for some sexual innuendo and sexual terms related to conception. I'm sorry I just – I couldn't resist. I got the idea after doing research related to this fic and I just had to do it! Just don't look into it too much, okay? I'm worried someone is going to overanalyze the sexual jokes…don't be a Leonard and overanalyze, guys._

* * *

**_Chapter Seventeen: The Missionary Hypothesis_**

"Oh, here's something," Amy said, leaning forward in her seat. "'_Best Sexual Positions for Baby Making: Is The Way You and Your Hubby Act in the Sack Affecting Your Fertility_?'"

It was Sunday night and Bernadette, Amy and Penny were in Howard and Bernadette's apartment. They sat around the living room with their laptops – eating but not drinking, much to Penny's dismay, because Bernadette had given up alcohol in order to increase the chance of conception. After the other negative pregnancy test, Bernadette had dove into research. She just needed to do something, to feel like she had some sort of control. And well, when Penny and Amy had asked her what they were doing that night, Bernadette had decided having twenty extra fingers to type Google searches could only help her.

Bernadette and Penny exchanged wary looks when Amy read the headline aloud, but they let her proceed. The neurobiologist seemed to enjoy research of any kind and it was clear part of her wanted to help out her friend – though her gravitation to the more…_personal_ stuff made Bernadette more than a little bit uncomfortable.

"It says to use missionary," Amy proclaimed, scrolling down. "Now Bernadette, I know it's going to be hard for you to let Howard take control, but it says that missionary allows for deeper penetration and that the sperm gets closer to the cervix –"

"Okay, okay!" Penny cut her off in a loud voice to show her discomfort at the terms. "Enough of that, what else does it say?"

Amy scrolled down a little farther. "It also recommends doggy style. And this way, you can stroke his –"

"Amy!" Bernadette cut her off. She didn't want to know where this was going…

"What?" Amy frowned. "It says that you can achieve the best org–"

"Amy!" Bernadette repeated. Unfortunately, she did know where this was going now, and she didn't want to hear it. "Do I have to get a water bottle and spray you like a kitten being trained?"

Penny laughed, using one of her hands to mimic a spraying motion. "Bad Amy! Bad Amy!"

"Oh come on," Amy said, scooting closer to Penny on the couch and putting her laptop on top of the blonde's. "Just read that,"

Penny's eyes darted back and forth as she read, and reached a hand up to her mouth. "Oh my God…"

Amy took the laptop back and practically shoved it in Bernadette's face. Bernadette only caught a sentence or two, but she felt her face grow hot as she blushed. Just imaging her and Howard doing that made her feel really, really embarrassed…

Back on the couch Penny accidentally let a low groan emit from her clenched lips, making Bernadette and Amy's heads snap up to look at the waitress. Penny immediately reached up her other hand to cover the first, and without another word she ran off to the bathroom, mumbling something about splashing some cold water on her face.

"Oh God," Bernadette said, feeling mortified. This was so stupid of her, asking them to help. She should've known better.

"It seems that the steamy nature of the article's contents were too much for her," Amy said with a shake of her head. "I knew Leonard couldn't be that pleasing under the sheets…"

"Whoa, whoa!" Bernadette snapped out of her thoughts, not wanting to go into the territory again. "No," She said firmly.

Amy got a look on her face that reminded Bernadette of how her younger siblings looked when they wanted something Bernadette wouldn't let them have. "But –" Amy began in a small voice.

"_No_," Bernadette repeated, a little harsher. Amy pouted at first, but then backed off. At least Bernadette knew she'd be a good enforcer of the rules as a mother…

"Ames, I swear to God, I'm not letting you use Google in my company again, got it?" Penny snapped angrily as she came back out from the bathroom. "I can't believe I'm saying this – but has the fact that Sheldon Cooper won't have sex with you has turned you into a pervert?"

"Sheldon and I do not have to have coitus, Penny," Amy replied, taking her laptop back but not exiting out of the website. "We are a relationship based on intelligence and academic challenge. If we were to engage in intercourse – which I will admit I have indulged in fantasies of while in the company of my electrical toothbrush Gerard – it would simply take that intellectual superiority out of the equation. You don't want that to happen, do you?"

"I think a little lust would do a lot of good," Penny murmured to particularly no one at all.

"But, I do admit the concept of sexual intercourse is intriguing," Amy continued, pondering the thought as she spoke. "Think about it – it is a physical representation of love, two bodies becoming one. It is quite…_poetic_, actually."

Bernadette and Penny both paused for a second, considering this. They didn't hear the door open. "Ames, that was beautiful," The latter said finally, and Bernadette swore she heard sentiment in her voice.

"What was beautiful?" Howard asked as he stepped inside his home. He walked over to kiss Bernadette on the forehead and his wife smiled. "What you guys looking at?" Howard asked, moving to take the computer from Amy's hands.

"Oh, Howard, don't –" Bernadette began, but by the time she'd choked it out Howard was already looking at the screen with wide eyes. He quickly gave it back to Amy.

"What do you ladies talk about while I'm not around?" Howard asked, horrified.

"Hey! This is research. We were looking up ways that would you and Bernadette conceive your progeny as soon as possible, and yes – that includes sexual positions," Amy said, closing the lid of her laptop. "You're welcome." Howard gave her a confused look, before turning away. Amy simply shrugged. "You win some, you lose some," She conceded, standing up and turning to Penny. "Come on, let's blow this joint,"

"Wait, where are we going?" Penny questioned, taking her own computer and starting off after Amy.

"We're going to go find your boyfriend so he can make sweet, sexy love to you," Amy responded as if it was nothing. "I want to know my search terms helped someone tonight,"

At first Penny froze, but after considering it for a second she sped up, dashing after Amy.

After the so called besties were gone, Howard spoke. "You want to use the stuff on that website, don't you?"

Bernadette cast a quick glance at the door, just to make sure her two friends weren't going to pop their heads back in. "A little bit,"

There was a short silence. "Me too," Howard admitted.

"Uh, yeah, I figured as much!" Bernadette teased, leaning up to kiss him.

"Hey hey, if you're going to be mean we don't have to –"

"Oh, you wouldn't dare," Bernadette threatened playfully, making Howard smile as he kissed her.

"Come on," He said it what was clearly meant to be a low and sexy voice. "Let's go fool around in our bedroom,"

Bernadette laughed, remembering the first time he'd uttered those words, but didn't protest as Howard drug her off, kissing her the entire way.

* * *

_Gerard is the name of Amy's toothbrush, right? Correct me if I'm wrong. _


	19. The Video Game Vortex

_I apologize ahead of time for how crappy the guys' dialogue while they're playing video games is. I'm not a gamer, I don't think I've ever played anything more than fashion games on a DS in my entire life, and so I just put generic phrases in. You all probably know more than me. _

_It just occurred to me saying 'I own nothing' is technically inaccurate – I own Adelaide, just…nothing else. But I just realized I do own something related to this fic! That's an improvement, right?_

_Oh, and this chapter takes place a week from the last chapter – so not that upcoming Friday five days later, but the one after that. Howie and Bernie have been trying for about two and a half months now, I do believe. Okay? Okay._

* * *

**_Chapter Eighteen: The Vintage Game Vortex_**

"Hey Leonard, do you wanna come over and have sex with me?" Penny called from the doorway, watching Leonard, Sheldon, Howard and Raj playing their vintage video games like they did every Friday night.

"Go there, go there!" Leonard simply screamed at someone in response and the boys all pressed the buttons on their controllers with force, all leaning towards the side as their avatars did and consequently leaning into each other.

"Here, let me try," Amy said from her spot next to Penny. "Sheldon," She called. "The Nobel Committee phoned you earlier – you've been nominated for a long overdue Nobel Prize for your work in physics!"

"DIE!" The guys all shouted at once, cheering in victory as they shot down another player.

"Sad," Bernadette said with a shake of her head from her spot on Penny's other side. "Just sad,"

"Hey Raj," Adelaide said, striding into the apartment. "Can I talk to you in the hallway? It's important. I umm, found a colleague who specializes in selective mutism!"

Raj perked up at her words, pausing the game, and causing Leonard, Howard and Sheldon all to groan in frustration at the interruption. . "Okay," Raj said obediently, slapping down his controller and following Adelaide into the hallway.

"Wow," Penny said, as her and the other two women watched the duo walk out. "What does she have that we don't?"

"Perhaps since Raj and Adelaide are not involved in a romantic relationship, Raj is more sensitive to Adelaide's approval, while at the same time is less concerned when she wants to talk to it," Amy posed.

Penny thought about this, letting out a small "hmmm." She and Bernadette still hadn't looked away from the direction Raj and Adelaide had disappeared to.

"Or he's simply doing what she asks him to hopefully increase the possibility of them engaging in intercourse," Amy added.

Penny and Bernadette both nodded. "Yeah, that's got to be it,"

* * *

Once they were halfway down the staircase, where no one from 4A could see them unless they came out of the apartment, Adelaide attacked Raj with her lips and after the initial shock he kissed back, letting his hands run up and down her back. They'd been together ever since Adelaide had drunkenly admitted her feelings (and while they hadn't come out the way she'd planned, Adelaide didn't regret telling Raj the truth), which was actually considerably hard, since they'd come to a mutual agreement to keep their relationship secret for a little while, so their friends wouldn't be too shocked when they found out. (Plus, Adelaide was terrified to tell Bernadette – though she'd never confess that to Raj.) So for now, whenever the gang got together, Adelaide would ask Raj to help her find an earring that must've fallen off on her way up the stairs, or Raj would tell Adelaide he needed to ask her a psychology question away from the chatter and noise of the group. Sure, they knew everyone might be suspecting something (Penny actually already had considered the option Raj might've had a thing for Adelaide, and when she'd confessed this to Amy, the neurobiologist had quickly agreed Raj was trying to make her reciprocate and that's why he kept talking to her in private) but that was better than them all knowing the whole truth. Raj and Adelaide had barely spoken to each other in front of the group before, let alone flirted or kissed or played footsie.

"I missed you," Adelaide said with a smile against his lips.

"I missed you too," Raj responded. He tried to reach a hand up her green blouse but Adelaide pulled it back out and Raj's hands immediately went back to a more innocent spot.

"Not now," Adelaide playfully chastised. "This isn't the time or place and you know that."

_Oh, Raj couldn't wait for the right time and place_…

"So, I was thinking," Adelaide was saying, having stopped kissing Raj and starting to fold down his shirt collar. "We should do something this weekend. Penny has that audition right? And Leonard will probably be by her side for moral support, Sheldon will probably be working, Amy will be doing whatever it is Amy's do, and my sister and her husband will probably be locking themselves in their bedroom yet again!" She finished with a fake smile, making Raj laugh. When he did so she scrunched up her nose cutely, making him laugh harder before leaning in to kiss her nose.

"Okay," Raj replied. "What did you have in mind?"

"How about you come over to my place, I'll make you dinner – and by make I mean order and say I made – and afterwards we can watch movies on my couch and kiss each other senseless?"

Raj smiled. "I like that idea,"

Adelaide smiled too. "I figured you would,"

They kissed again, both leaning in at the same time. Raj wrapped his arms around Adelaide's waist and pulled her closer. Adelaide parted her lips slightly, as if granting Raj tongue access, so he chose to accept it. They were just getting into it when –

"What is going on here?"

Raj and Adelaide pulled apart, aghast, and felt their hearts drop when they realized they were being watched by a very shocked Bernadette.

* * *

_Dun dun dun! _

_Review? _


	20. The Caught In The Act Aftermath

_Before I start, can I just say I love all of you so much? This story has 102 reviews now, and that means so much to me. It's great to know you all like this story! So thank you. Keep on being amazing._

_Wasn't the Big Bang from Thursday so good? Spoiler Alert for anyone who hasn't seen it but...Penny loves Leonard! Penny loves Leonard! PENNY LOVES LEONARD!_

_...Sorry..._

_I actually planned on Penny telling Leonard she loved him in this fic in a very similar fashion, so I don't think I'm going to do that now...Unless you guys still want me to. Cause I guess I could, if you all think I should. Do you think I should?_

_In accordance with the revelation I made last chapter, I only own Adelaide._

* * *

**_Chapter Nineteen: The Caught In The Act Aftermath_**

"Bernadette –" Adelaide began, not sure what to say. The look of hurt and confusion and…and _anger_ on her sister's face made her feel terrible, knowing her sneaking around was the cause.

"Go inside, Raj," Bernadette said, not looking away from Adelaide, her voice not any louder or angrier than it usually was, but firmer – like she meant business.

"Bernadette –" Raj pleaded, just like Adelaide had begun to moments before.

"_Raj_," Bernadette said a little harsher, hands on her hips. "_Go inside_,"

Adelaide wanted him to just leave already in case things got ugly, but Raj didn't. "Bernadette, I really care about Adelaide –"

Bernadette sighed, slightly annoyed. "I'm sure you do."

"You do?" Raj echoed. "You're not mad about…_us_?" 'Us' clearly meant him and Adelaide, but Raj pointed to the petite brunette next to him anyway.

"Of course I'm not mad about that!" She half-yelled in response, still sounding aggravated. "You're a cutie pie and my sister's lucky to have you! _Now go inside_!"

Raj nodded feebly and hurried away, closing the door to 4A behind him as he escaped into the safety of Nerdvana.

Now, Adelaide and Bernadette's gazes met, and Adelaide didn't know what to do. Should she explain herself? Should she walk away? Should she wait for Bernadette to say something? Bernadette didn't speak, so Adelaide did.

"So, you're not mad?" Adelaide asked. She knew Raj had already asked the same question, but Adelaide just needed to hear Bernadette say it to her – for reassurance.

"Oh, I'm mad at you," Bernadette said, moving her hands from her hips to cross her arms over her chest. "Just not because of you dating Raj,"

"Then _why_?" Adelaide said, stressing the second word. She didn't like it when Bernadette was mad at her – when she was little, no more than six or seven, and had upset Bernadette somehow, she would always wrap herself around Bernadette's legs and hold on until her big sister would finally forgive her, crying the whole time.

"Because you lied to me about it," Bernadette answered, her voice no longer angry, just rather sad, disappointed. For a moment, Adelaide was tempted to grab onto Bernadette's legs and hold on.

"I'm sorry," Adelaide said softly. "About lying to you, I mean – I really am. We didn't want for everything to seem totally random, out of the blue when we told." Adelaide slumped down to the floor, her back pressed against the wall and her knees pulled up to her chest, and after a moment she felt Bernadette crouch down next to her in a similar position.

"How did it happen?" Bernadette asked. Adelaide swore she saw a half-smile on her face, and the psychologist returned it.

She sighed, partially because she was happy and partially because she was remembering it. "I was Raj's therapist," She said.

At this, Bernadette started laughing.

"What?" Adelaide asked, half-laughing herself. "What's so funny?"

Bernadette shook her head, running a hand through her hair. "Raj asked all of us if we thought he had a chance with you, though he didn't mention you by name, and we all told him to go for it – once therapy was over, of course. God, if I had known it was you…"

Adelaide smirked, and then she laughed too. Bernadette nudged her shoulder, as if urging her to continue.

"Well, apparently Raj didn't understand the 'after therapy' part," Adelaide told Bernadette. "One day, he just asked me if I wanted to go out with him – and let me tell you, I was _so_ freaked out. I never wanted to see him again, and then the day you and Howard took me to meet your friends, and we saw each other, I just…I didn't know what to think. I wanted to get along with him, for you, and…I don't know. Somewhere along the lines, I began to feel differently. And then one night, we were at my house, and we were really drunk – "

"Oh my God, Adelaide!" Bernadette said teasingly.

"Oh shut up, nothing like that happened!" Adelaide retorted just as playfully, before continuing on with her story. "And I told him how I felt. I kissed him, he kissed me back, and here we are."

Bernadette smiled and gave a small golf clap, making Adelaide smile and happily roll her eyes. Bernadette looked down at her lap then, wrung her hands, and frowned. "You okay?" Adelaide questioned.

The little blonde shrugged in response. "I'm sorry I yelled at you," She said. "I've been keeping some things from you too…"

"That you and Howard are trying to have a baby?"

Bernadette looked up and blinked, surprised that Adelaide knew this. "How did you find out? I never told –"

"Raj let it slip," Adelaide explained. "He thought I knew. I was kind of mad at first, but…" Now it was her turn to shrug. "I'm not anymore,"

"We didn't want to let anyone know we were trying until there was an actual baby to tell them about," Bernadette told her. "But the girls saw my pharmacy bag, and the guys knew something was up. So we slipped and let them in on it – and for a while I thought about telling you, but I most definitely didn't want to get you all excited for nothing."

"How long have you been trying?" Adelaide asked.

"Almost three months," Bernadette sighed. "I know that compared to some women that's not that long but, it's just I felt like once I set my sights on it, I'd get it. That's how it's always been,"

Adelaide placed one of her hands on top of Bernadette's. "I always thought you'd be a great mom," She said. "Hell, you were more of a mother to me than my actual one. Sooner or later, it'll happen. You just have to be patient."

"You know I never wanted to have kids," Bernadette said sadly. "And now I want one so badly I just…" She trailed off, blinking slowly.

Adelaide frowned – she couldn't stand seeing Bernadette upset – and wrapped an arm around her. They just sat there for a minute, silent and still, until they finally got up and walked back inside.


	21. The Dream Reccurence

_I meant to post this a few days ago, but my personal life isn't so hot right now. But, I finally sat down and wrote between classes, and I hope you find this satisfactory. _

_Also, I'd still like to know if you think I should still have Penny tell Leonard she loves him in this fanfiction, even though it would be in a very similar way she did it on the show. Or I could think of a backup plan, though I don't think it would be as powerful. But you know, make it work like Tim Gunn and all that. I can still try. Okay, so to sum up, three options. Option 1) Go with the original idea, even though it ain't so original anymore. Option 2) Think of a different way she could tell him. And finally Option 3) Just don't have her tell him at all. Just sound off in the reviews, or the poll on my profile. Gracias. _

_This chapter is because you all seem to enjoy Shamy and I'm trying to pass time. So, let's say this chapter is a week from the last? Howie and Bernie have been trying to conceive for around three months give or take a week. _

_I do not own The Big Bang Theory. I'm umm…borrowing it. Sure, let's go with that._

* * *

**_Chapter Twenty: The Dream Recurrence_**

Sheldon's dream continued to plague him during all of this time. He didn't know why he kept having it, and did all the research he could on factors that could've caused this. Sheldon had never thought about Amy in this manner before and he was so confused as to why suddenly he imagined waking up next to her in the morning, sharing a bed with her (it was not only bizarre but terribly out of character, Sheldon _hated_ physical contact or any way, shape or form). Sheldon couldn't find any answers, and that was hard for him. How could he, Sheldon Lee Cooper, B.S., M.S., M.A., Ph.D, Sc.D, not conquer something as simple as a dream? His brain couldn't fail him now.

Then, abruptly, Sheldon's recurring dream just…just _stopped_. One night he had it, same as always, and the next he just didn't. And the night after that it didn't come back, or the night after, or the night after. You'd think Sheldon would be relieved to be rid of it, but he was only more confused than ever. Most nights he spent a good amount of time just staring at the ceiling or the wall, wondering what was going on inside his head.

After a little while of that, Sheldon started being plagued by a new dream. This time, it was Amy and him on the couch – Sheldon in his spot of course – watching something on the television, but whatever it was never clear enough to make out. Then, in the middle of the narrator's sentence, Sheldon would look at Amy, and Amy would look back at him. And then all he'd see was her face, her eyes, her nose, but most of all – her lips. Parting slowly, full and pink and so…so…_soft-looking_. And finally, before Sheldon could process what he was doing, he'd lean towards her, pucker his lips, close his eyes and…nothing. That was always when he woke up.

Sheldon was more perplexed by this dream than the last. Around the time this new dream began, Sheldon often found himself watching Amy's lips move as she talked. He started thinking about what it had been like the two times she'd kissed him, and what her lips had felt like. Most of all, he wondered if they would feel differently if he were the one to initiate the kiss. _Perhaps I should do an experiment to test my hypothesis_. Sheldon had thought once. He'd immediately hated himself for succumbed to such carnal desires afterwards. He didn't get carnal desires. They were for the weak-minded and easily influenced. Like Leonard.

Then, like the dream before it, it stopped. Randomly one night, he didn't get it, and once again it didn't come back. However this time, Sheldon went to sleep every night, not staying up. He knew that if he didn't, the next dream would not come. And sure enough, once Sheldon got back to his normal routine, he was visited by a new dream. This one confused him greatly.

In this dream, Sheldon was in the kitchen fixing tea – two bags for Amy, because she was wild like that – while Amy sat on the floor of the living room. On the coffee table, Sheldon's train set was set up, all the pieces on the track. Then, with a smirk, Amy picked up his conductor's cap, placed it on her head, slightly askew, and found Sheldon's favorite piece. While he watched, Amy would roll his favorite piece in and out of the tunnel, over and over again in an innocent manner. There was something about this action that made Sheldon feel uncomfortable – and yet almost not, in a way, if that makes any sense – but he had no idea why.

So, Sheldon looked up dream interpretation on the Internet. The first website asked him what his mom or a truck driver would say about this dream, and Sheldon quickly clicked the back arrow. After that, found a better source of information, and typed up what he had dreamt. Then, he sat back and waited for someone to respond. The first comment came up a few minutes later:

_You want to screw her, dude._

Sheldon once again clicked the back arrow. How did his dream have anything to do with driving in a nail? It made no sense!

Then, after even more research, Sheldon came up with an even more unlikely answer: sexual arousal.

No, there was no way. This was not – and repeat, _not_ – possible. Sheldon did not get aroused; he was too high up on the evolutionary scale to feel that way. Amy was meant to challenge him mentally, not to raise sexual feelings in him.

But, as Sheldon thought more about it, he couldn't help but wonder if this was all possible. He did have aesthetically pleasing testicles, after all.

Perhaps more research would clear everything up…

* * *

_I actually did find a website that said to think about what your mom or a truck driver would say about your dream. Weird. Just…just weird. _


	22. The Determining Contact

_Okay, so thanks for everyone who voted. I think I'm just going to come up with another way for Penny to tell Leonard, just cause. But I don't think it'll happen right away. So, you'll see it eventually. But, ironically, there is Lenny in this chapter. Howie and Bernie stuff next chapter, I think. _

_Did y'all like TBBT last night? I laughed my ass off, personally. _

_Finally, more time jumps. Two weeks into the future now. Like I've said many a times, I'm trying to keep the ball rolling. Because the sooner I get the ball rolling, the sooner I can put my Howard and Bernadette storyline plans into action. And I know that's what y'all want._

_Why do I keep saying 'y'all'? I'm not even Southern! Ugh. _

_I'm just a fan who writes fan fiction._

* * *

**_Chapter Twenty One: The Determining Contact_**

Penny waited. Penny waited a lot. Penny waited way too much.

It had been three weeks since her audition. The audition had gone perfectly well, at least Penny thought so. She'd read lines, answered a few questions, and given the casting people a big smile when her time had finally been up. They'd said they'd call her. And yet they hadn't. And that thought drove Penny absolutely crazy.

Penny pretty much had a twenty-four hour vigil by her phone nowadays, anticipating that call that would determine her fate. Either she'd get a callback, or she wouldn't, and she'd been in agony until then.

Even when Penny worked she had her cell clipped to her apron, just in case. And every time it rang, Penny would perk up, feeling her breath hitch at the thought that this could be it, this could be the call she'd been waiting for, and yet every time so far she'd been let down. It would always be one of her friends or her family, or someone she didn't want to hear from.

_When. Were they going. To call her? _

Penny was anxious – really, really anxious. That was obvious to anyone. She didn't act like herself – because stress just did that to some people, especially when they didn't know what was going to happen, if they'd pass or if they'd fail – and spent most of her nights at home. She'd sit on her couch in shorts and a tank top, with her phone on the coffee table, and watch reruns of _One Tree Hill_ or _Law & Order_ while drinking wine from the bottle (okay, so that last part was like her). If she didn't get this part, it would be a _crushing_ disappointment. She'd already bragged – told people she felt like this was it, that this would finally be her big break, that she finally may not have to be a waitress anymore, that those self-indulgent dreams she'd had all her life were finally coming true. (She'd even asked Leonard if he'd like to sleep with a real, working actress. _That_ had been a fun night.) What if her momentary ego boost had been all for nothing? Maybe she wasn't cut out for this industry…

Eventually, this self-induced isolation became too much for her friends. On a Friday night she got a knock at her door. "It's open," Penny called out, not letting her eyes divert from their path of phone to TV screen and back to phone.

"Penny,"

Penny looked up, and offered a small smile when she saw it was only Leonard. "Oh, hey honey,"

"What's up with you?" Leonard asked, walking over to the couch. He glanced at the episode on the TV and inadvertently wrinkled his nose in distaste. "I feel like I haven't seen you in days,"

Penny frowned, and looked at the ground. "They haven't called me yet," She said finally.

"Who? The casting people?" Leonard asked, and Penny nodded. "Penny, I'm sure they'll call. But you can't just sit by the phone waiting until they do. And so what if they don't, you could do better."

At this, the waitress beamed. "You think?"

Leonard nodded. "Course I do," He kissed her nose and Penny giggled.

"What did I ever do to deserve you?" She asked, standing up. "Come on, it's Friday. That means Chinese food and video games,"

"There we go, same old Penny – mooching food off of us,"

Penny snorted, and playfully hit Leonard on the shoulder at the joke. "Stop!" She laughed, letting him kiss her. "Don't you want me to play and blow up Sheldon again so we can watch him get all mad?"

"Oh, sounds perfect," Leonard said with a smile. "Let's go,"

They were halfway out the door when the phone rang. Penny couldn't help herself, she dashed back inside and was already mumbling "hello" into the receiver before you could even say "wow". "Yes, this is she," She said, pausing to listen to whatever was being said on the other end. "Uh huh, yes." Here, something crossed over Penny's face, an emotion hard to place, that indicated the conversation had taken a turn. "Really? Well, umm, thank you for calling. You have a good night too." Then she pressed the red 'end call' button and slowly dropped the phone back onto the table.

"Leonard," Penny said slowly, breathing deeply.

"Is everything okay?" The physicist in question asked.

Penny turned to him, a smile overcoming her face. "I got a callback,"

* * *

_This was short but eh. I did my best. _


	23. The 2 AM Turbulence

_Wow, I didn't realize how long it's been since I've written…Sorry guys! The good news is my personal life is sorted out, which means I can write more. Yay!_

_Okay, I think there will a time jump of a month or possibly two. I wanted to make the process much longer, but I'm getting impatient and running out of ideas. So, this chapter will tie up some loose ends, and then we'll do the final time jump, so I can divulge more into the main plot. _

_Also, since this'll be my last post before the holidays, Merry Newtonmas and I'll see you in the New Year!...You know, unless the Mayans get us. DUN DUN. _

_Do I really have to write __**another**__ disclaimer?_

* * *

**_Chapter Twenty Two: The 2 AM Turbulence _**

He hates hospitals, and now he's in one. Doctors walk in and out, and he feels like they're swarming him. He wants to just crawl into the corner in a fetal position, but mostly, he just wants Amy. He wonders which one of these doctors he can talk to, and finally, one approaches him. He opens his mouth, and looks at Sheldon grimly. "I'm sorry, Dr. Cooper…"

Sheldon woke up with a start. Oh, it had only been a dream – scratch that, not a dream, a nightmare. Reaching over to his nightstand, Sheldon picked up the phone and dialed a familiar number.

Amy picked up on the first ring. "Sheldon," She said. "To you realize what time it is?"

Sheldon glanced at the clock. "It's 2:33," He said matter-of-factly.

"Funny,"

"I wasn't trying to be humorous." Sheldon said, slightly confused. "I'm coming over, now,"

"Now, Sheldon –"

"Are you really about to object to me coming over to your apartment in pajamas, even for undisclosed reasons?"

There was a long pause. "I'll be waiting for you,"

_Knock, knock, knock. _"Amy,"

_Knock, knock, knock. _"Amy,"

Amy opened the door, standing there in her bathrobe and slippers, and Sheldon glanced at her. He rapped his knuckles against the door one more time. _Knock, knock, knock. _"Amy,"

Amy gave him a slightly annoyed look. "Okay, I know you didn't come here because your loins were stirring with lust for me – although I can still wish – so why are you here?"

"Amy Farrah Fowler," Sheldon began with a deep breath. Amy leaned against the doorframe, knowing this might be a while. "You have been my girlfriend for a while, and I know that I have not done very well at showing you how I much I value your companionship. I recently came to that realization and I am sorry if you have ever felt neglected in this relationship a great deal but I just wanted to let you know that I care about you a great deal," He folded his hands at the end, waiting for a response.

Amy blinked, and then placed a hand to her heart. "That's the sweetest thing anyone's ever said to me!"

Sheldon smirked. "I know,"

Amy took a deep breath. "…I love you,"

Sheldon seemed unfazed. "I know,"

"Do you love me, Sheldon?" Amy prompted him.

"Of course I do," Sheldon replied simply. "Isn't that obvious? Wait!" He caught himself. "I just came to this epiphany, I should say it." He paused. "Yes, I love you, Amy Farrah Fowler,"

To most people, this wouldn't seem like much. But, Amy couldn't help it – she laughed, and wrapped her arms around her boyfriend. Coming from Sheldon Cooper though, it meant a whole lot more.

* * *

"**_LEONARD!_**"

Leonard nearly fell out of his chair as Penny threw open the door to 4A, walking into the room.

"What happened?" He asked, regaining his composure. "Did something happen? Holy crap, did someone die?"

Penny gave him a look, and placed her hands on her hips. "Leonard, no one died!" She said. "Would I be this happy if someone did?"

"Touché,"

Penny rolled her eyes.

"So," Leonard asked. "What happened?"

"I got it!" Penny cried, practically bursting out of her skin.

It took Leonard a minute to realize she meant the movie. "Awww, baby, I told you you would!"

Penny let out a high-pitched shriek that would make Sheldon spray her with a water bottle and say "Bad Penny". She ran over to Leonard and practically jumped in his lap. "I'm a real actress now, Leonard!"

Leonard gave her a look. "I thought you were already a 'real actress',"

Penny's face faltered. "Shut up," She said jokingly.

Leonard simply put up his hands. "Whatever you say,"

* * *

"Hey, can I talk to you for a sec?"

Bernadette dropped her keys on the table and bag on the floor and looked over to Howard. "Sure," She said. Howard moved over and patted the spot next to him on the couch. Bernadette sat down turning to look at him. "So, what's up?"

"I want to talk about this whole…baby thing,"

Bernadette frowned, and then looked away. "What about it?"

"Bernie, I can tell it's getting to you," Howard said, and she didn't look at him. "…I love you,"

Bernadette looked back at him now, clearly upset. "I love you too, and I feel terrible that we haven't been able to get pregnant! Because I know how much this means to you – to _us_ – and I feel like a failure for being unable to do it," She got up and walked over to the kitchen, just for some space.

"We don't know it's you," Howard comforted her. "I can look up infertility in males right now –"

Bernadette cut him off. "What, does masturbating like a pervert affect your sperm?"

Howard paused from reaching for his computer. "Oh that is _low_," He said, before moving back into his former position. For a minute, neither of them said anything. "Let's take a break,"

Bernadette turned back around. "Howard," She said, wide eyed. "Are you saying you don't want to-" She looked absolutely horrified, and for a moment Howard thought about the complete and total irony in this situation.

"Come here," He simply said, and Bernadette obeyed, moving towards him so she was halfway into his lap. "I still want a baby more than anything, but I don't want us to be so stressed out about it. I don't want you to feel like a failure, and I don't want to see you upset. Baby, you've been taking a test practically every week, and you're working long hours…I miss you,"

Bernadette thought about this for a second, and then got up. "You're right, wait here," She walked off, and then reappeared a few moments later with all the pregnancy tests from their bathroom cabinet in her hand. She walked into the kitchen and dropped every last one of them in the trash can. "There," She said. "We are not going to over think this. We are just going to do it, alright?"

Howard nodded. "I love you,"

She smiled. "I love you too,"

* * *

_Next chapter will have a time jump. I think it will be pretty much an HB chapter, but I'm not positive just yet. Once again, Merry Newtonmas! _


End file.
